Women: The Perpetual Victim of History (Volume Two)

Ayatollah Nekounam's books

Women: The Perpetual Victim of History
(Volume Two)
(Sacred be His Name)

By Ayatollah Mohammadreza Nekounam

Main Author: Nekounam, Mohammadreza (b. 1327)
Title: Women: The Perpetual Victim of History / Mohammadreza Nekounam.
Publication Details:
Islamshahr: Sobhe Farda Publications, Second Edition, 2014.
Physical Description: 4 Volumes.
ISBN: 978-600-6435-46-6 (Set)
978-600-6435-48-0 (Volume 2)
Library of Congress Classification: 1393 9 Z 8 N / 1208 HQ
Dewey Decimal Classification: 305.4
National Bibliography Number: 2846409
Publisher: Sobhe Farda
Edition: Second, Printed in 2014
Circulation: 3,000 Copies
Price for Set: 258,000 IRR
Publisher’s Address:
Tehran – Islamshahr – Nasimshahr – Vajehabad
Javaherzadeh Street, 12m, Building No. 36
Postal Code: 3769138575
Distribution Center Phone: +98 025 32 90 15 78
Website: www.nekounam.ir

Part Four: Polygyny and the Controversial Argument

Chapter One: Polygyny in the Light of Reason and Narration

Polygyny; Men’s Lustful Behavior
The law of polygyny in Islam has been repeatedly questioned and criticized by various groups. It is said: Why can a man have multiple wives, while a woman cannot have more than one husband? Why can a man have several wives, both permanent and temporary, while a woman must live her life with one man, even if he is disabled, blind, mute, ugly, mismatched, bad-tempered, and irresponsible?

Moreover, although a man cannot have more than four permanent wives in the context of marriage, there are no restrictions for him regarding temporary marriages. The difference between a permanent and a temporary marriage lies in the fact that in a temporary marriage (mutʿah), the woman enjoys fewer privileges, and the man bears a lighter responsibility. In a temporary marriage, a woman does not inherit from her husband, and the obligation of providing for her is lifted from the man, who also faces fewer issues regarding children. Indeed, a man can gain more benefits from a temporary marriage lasting even a century than from a permanent one.

Thus, the mismatch between the laws governing men and women and the oppression of women in such cases can, from a rational perspective, serve as evidence for the groundlessness of these religious rulings. It is due to such laws that opposing groups have relentlessly criticized religious rules and have used every weapon to destroy or distort the religion.

A Response to the Objection

In brief, this objection can be addressed by noting two distinct issues: one is the woman’s requirement for a single husband, and the other concerns the man’s ability to have multiple wives. The first issue was addressed earlier in the discussion of marriage, where it was shown that a single husband for a woman, beyond ensuring individual and societal well-being, is the highest form of human dignity. Here, the second misconception—pertaining to the rationale behind allowing men to marry multiple women—will be addressed through both textual and rational analysis.

Section One: The Textual Argument

God, in His wisdom, says in the Holy Qur’an:

“If you fear that you may not deal justly with the orphans, then marry those that please you of other women, two, three, or four. But if you fear that you may not be just, then one, or what your right hands possess. That is nearer to preventing injustice.” (Qur’an, 4:3)

Before Islam, it was a common practice during the Age of Ignorance (Jahiliyyah) to marry orphan girls in order to take control of their wealth, only to abandon them once their property was depleted. Therefore, God says in this verse:

“If you wish to marry orphan girls, you must adhere to justice, not wrong them, and not squander their wealth. In such a case, you should marry two, three, or four women, but if you fear that you cannot treat them equally, then marry only one.”

In this verse, God establishes justice as a fundamental condition for the validity of polygyny. The notion of justice, as Imam Sadiq (A.S.) mentioned, refers to the equitable provision of financial and managerial support among the wives. If a man lacks the ability to provide such justice, he should limit himself to one wife. Sometimes, even managing the needs of one wife can be a challenge for a man, let alone the demands of multiple wives.

Thus, in this verse, God emphasizes that a man’s ability to provide justice and manage the financial and emotional needs of his wives is a precondition for the legitimacy of polygyny.

Polygyny: A Permissible, Not Obligatory, Practice

It is clear that the foundation of polygyny in Islam is rational and aimed at societal reform, as Islam has not made polygyny obligatory, but merely permissible. The conditions for polygyny are far more stringent than those for marriage, and it is not practically feasible for everyone, even among men who may be predisposed to it. After fulfilling the conditions, polygyny carries a certain sanctity, and both the natural and psychological makeup of men and women suggest that such an arrangement is beneficial under specific circumstances.

God’s Mercy and Polygyny
God’s ruling on polygyny, and the related permission for temporary marriage, which is also mentioned earlier in the Qur’an, is a measure of His mercy and grace toward His servants. These permissible practices serve to protect individuals from falling into sinful acts like fornication and adultery. As Hisham ibn Hakam, a well-known student of Imam Sadiq (A.S.), narrated, God’s establishment of legal boundaries (such as flogging and stoning) for those who commit adultery is intended as a deterrent, made necessary because of the availability of these lawful alternatives.

Thus, in a society where people are unable to pursue these lawful routes, implementing Islamic legal boundaries would lack both a solid legal basis and rational justification.

After presenting these two points, we return to the main discussion to examine all its forms and variations. The central question was: how does polygyny or lawful temporary marriage (mut’ah) bring about vitality or joy for a woman or man? The response must be that, generally speaking, polygyny or lawful temporary marriage, like the institution of marriage itself, naturally brings happiness to both women and men. This is because marriage encompasses fulfilment, pleasure, delight, and joy, and the union of two souls beautifully manifests human companionship.

If it is argued that while the institution of marriage is naturally like this, polygyny or mut’ah might not be, the reply is that even the institution of marriage itself can sometimes fail to be so.

When a marriage between a woman and a man is accompanied by discord, ignorance, incapacity, and frustration, it not only fails to bring joy and happiness but can become sorrowful and harmful. Therefore, the institution of marriage only inherently entails joy and vitality when it is not accompanied by serious difficulties and obstacles. It should also be noted that natural joy and happiness do not conflict with the inherent challenges of the institution of marriage; indeed, some difficulties are intrinsic to marriage itself. Hence, although marriage generally implies vitality, this joy is not necessarily present in all its instances.

Another reality is that although marriage generally entails vitality, it is never devoid of difficulties. Polygyny, likewise, shares the same prospects of fulfilment and frustration as the institution of marriage.

Chapter Two: Polygyny and Women’s Aversion

Some have questioned and claimed that polygyny for men is contrary to the nature of women and unbearable for them, thus should not be accepted lightly. While having multiple wives may accord with a man’s disposition and be pleasurable and comforting for him, this is not the case for women; it is rather contrary to their nature, and every woman detests it. Women feel that such a practice conflicts with their peace and comfort, treats their lives as a game, and damages the marital relationship and the warmth of the family home. Therefore, this ruling cannot be seen as aligned with women’s interests. Whatever benefits exist are only for men, while women must endure in silence; for this ruling is one of the harmful effects of ostensibly religious male dominance.

Reasons for Women’s Opposition

In response to this objection, it must be said that such opposition generally stems from two different internal and external directions:

Internal factors include:

Women are beings endowed with profound emotions, easily affected by unusual factors.
Since women are desirable beings, external competition and threats quickly engage them.
A woman’s strong attachment to her husband prevents her from tolerating rivals beside her.

External factors include:

The tragic historical events concerning women and society’s improper treatment of them have caused involuntary anxiety and constant concern for women.
Men’s moral weakness and incapacity, generally and currently, have resulted in women’s distrust of men regarding polygyny.
Direct observation or hearsay in every era about the disorders linked to polygyny causes fear and anxiety in women.

When internal and external factors combine, they create women’s instability and sensitivity towards polygyny and their intolerance or anxiety about it.

Now, in response to the above objection, we examine the internal and external causes under the following headings:

a) Social miseducation; b) Women’s pessimistic and distressed disposition; c) Confounding the reality of this matter with selfish desires; d) Emotional and irresponsible reactions by women.

First Reason: Social Miseducation

Our afflicted society has experienced unfortunate and unpleasant events in this regard, such that it has failed to fully grasp the truth of this ruling and its proper realisation, and to fully and healthily benefit from its advantages.

Although these rulings have been realised sporadically or peripherally in society and among people, their practice has been accompanied by lack of soundness, imbalance, coercion, tyranny, violence, rebellion, and turmoil. Ignorance and general or individual oppression, alongside the absence of necessary conditions for applying this ruling, have contributed to existing societal disorder.

Many individuals, without sufficient experience and lacking necessary qualifications and conditions, motivated by personal and social reasons, emotional deficiencies, temperament issues, and other life problems, have embarked on this path and, in trying to escape problems, have created even more. They have ensnared the first and second wives in tragic events, and instead of resolving issues, have compounded them—resulting in widespread misconceptions about this ruling, especially among women. Nevertheless, the current situation and the actions of some ignorant individuals should not be attributed to Islamic law or considered representative of religion, nor should one hastily accuse religion of male dominance.

Polygyny and the Proper Implementation of Rulings

If this ruling is to be widely and properly implemented in a healthy Islamic society, it must, like lawful temporary marriage and fixed-term marriage, meet its own special conditions, and its rulings and characteristics must derive from comprehensive legislation. The circumstances, needs, and capabilities of individuals must be recognised to allow the ruling to find its true place. Then, this ruling will not only cause no problems but will resolve many individual and collective issues. In such a case, divine laws regain their practical value and become effective in addressing major societal problems.

Those who lack the basic conditions of life, proper ethics, financial, mental, and physical ability, and necessary management cannot benefit from the spiritual or sensual advantages of these rulings. Such individuals should first strive to correct their deficiencies and acquire abilities before engaging in this practice.

Those who seek to benefit from this ruling secretly, or through money, force, tyranny, or deception, can never resolve their problems by applying it. Those who abuse these rulings, pursue animalistic desires, and lack ethical and emotional qualities can never grasp the spirit of these rulings or avoid their negative consequences—which are primarily their own psychological problems. Those devoid of fairness, who disregard others’ rights and treat women as commodities or tools, can never claim the protection of Islamic law in these matters.

Those who wish to benefit from these divine rulings must obtain the necessary qualifications and conditions, fulfil the requirements set by Sharia wholly or partially as far as they can, and also respect their own and women’s dignity and behave responsibly. This will allow them to benefit from these rulings and remove misconceptions from themselves and others.

Second Reason: Women’s Distressed Nature

After explaining the first matter, the reason why people, especially women, distrust this ruling becomes clear. The incorrect thoughts and beliefs prevalent among the general public, especially women, stem from social disorder and do not relate to the realities or effects of these rulings. The perceptions held by society and women regarding such rulings are neither correct nor logical, as public minds are preoccupied with unfortunate and undesirable events. Some, due to such miseducation, have developed erroneous beliefs and thus fear these rulings. Therefore, the scattered and distressed beliefs in society lack intellectual and cultural value and require correction by properly articulating and implementing these laws to purify society’s and especially women’s minds.

Third Reason: Selfish Desires

Regarding selfish desires, it must be said that such desires cannot be the criterion for the correctness or incorrectness of a matter; the validity of affairs, beliefs, and ideas must be examined with their supporting evidence. Whether something accords with or opposes nature is not a way to recognise its truth; rather, rational and logical reasons must be provided.

It is possible that the corrupted and unhealthy nature of some groups prevents them from recognising the positive aspects of rational or religious rulings, and thus they oppose them, in which case their opposition lacks rational value. Likewise, unreasoned natural approval has no value. Acceptance or rejection of any matter depends on the presence of rational and logical evidence, which plays a fundamental role in defending or condemning ideas.

What is ‘nafs’ (the self/desires)?

A human being is a reality not limited to the physical body, though they have a material existence. This reality has a complex identity which, despite the many names and titles it bears, is not easily grasped or understood.

When a person says “my book, my house, my clothes,” they clearly understand these things, but when they say “I,” it is not easy to find out who or what this “I” is. Although this “I” is undeniable and necessary, it does not reveal itself clearly to everyone.

This reality includes many titles such as self (nafs), intellect (‘aql), spirit (ruh), conscience, emotion, and many others. Among all these titles, two main and distinctive faces exist: intellect and nafs. Here, intellect means the part of a human that recognises truth, health, and goodness, while nafs refers to inappropriate desires and inclinations, also called “hawā’ al-nafs” (the self’s vain desires). Intellect is the source of soundness and goodness, while nafs is the origin of deviation or excess and deficiency.

Generally, nafs is the subject of all desires. If these desires appear balanced and appropriate, they are commendable and good; if they appear abnormally or deviantly, they are reprehensible.

Therefore, if nafs maintains proportion and balance in its expressions, it is worthy; otherwise, it is undesirable and called satanic desires.

Sexual instincts and desires are also manifestations of nafs. If expressed proportionately, they are commendable; if not, they are blameworthy.

In the matter of seekers and desired — men and women — all proportional and disproportionate forms can be imagined: seekers and desired can have noble or corrupted nafs, which does not necessarily correlate with monogamy or polygyny. A man may have one wife but be corrupted or even obsessed with women; likewise, a man may have multiple wives and be a noble person, or a monogamous man may be virtuous while another with multiple wives is corrupted. Similarly, a woman may be virtuous without a husband or corrupted despite having one. Like wealth

some have plenty and are miserable; some have little and are happy.

Thus, selfishness and desire cannot be a reason to reject polygyny or any other ruling; rather, one must weigh the evidence and reason behind each matter.

Accompanying Disbelievers

One might ask: How is it possible for a woman to commit disbelief out of jealousy or possessiveness, while she may be a believer and pious, performing prayers and fasting, etc.?

The answer is that true and effective faith in God requires a believer to adhere to all divine verses and commandments. It is not sufficient to believe only in those laws which align with one’s own tastes and desires, while rejecting or questioning those that do not. This is the same approach taken by some disbelievers who said to the Prophet (PBUH), “Remove some of the verses so that we may believe in you.” They accepted certain divine verses and laws that suited their desires, but rejected others that conflicted with them. These disbelievers sought a version of the Qur’an that conformed to their demands. Does a woman—or indeed anyone—who refuses to accept God’s rulings on polygyny and temporary marriage not follow a similar path?

Polygyny: A Difficult Test

It must be noted that belief in the Qur’anic verses requires both heartfelt affirmation and practical acceptance. One cannot claim belief in the Qur’an and then act contrary to its injunctions. Indeed, “Do people think that merely saying ‘We believe’ will suffice without being tested?” Faith often demands arduous trials that may conflict with one’s desires. Few are those who oppose their own ego and place God’s will above their own wishes; yet these few shall attain great victory and immense divine reward, for God does not let the reward of the righteous perish.

Polygyny represents a great and challenging test, particularly for women, who must overcome the opposition of their desires, pride, and jealousy to triumph in this trial. Mere acts of worship such as prayer and fasting, if not accompanied by submission and acceptance of all divine rulings, hold no real value; on the contrary, they may engender arrogance and entitlement towards God. Satan, despite having prayed for thousands of years with bows and prostrations, became arrogant due to jealousy of man and disbelieved in God, thus falling from his lofty position and incurring God’s eternal curse.

It is worth reflecting on how a single feeling of jealousy destroyed millennia of worship and caused Satan’s disbelief. How then can a woman’s jealousy or possessiveness towards a co-wife lead her to disbelief? Did Satan intend to disbelieve when he envied man? He believed his act was just, given he was created from fire and man from clay, and that his long-standing worship entitled him to precedence. Had he been a true believer, he would not have accused God’s wisdom and justice, nor considered himself superior to God.

Jealousy is rooted in arrogance: the jealous person regards themselves as superior or more deserving of blessings than others. This pride makes them intolerant of others, wishing to exclude them even at personal cost, to remain the sole possessor of favour.

The Cause of Jealousy

Fundamentally, jealousy stems from weakness of the self. All reprehensible traits—lying, slandering, backbiting—are consequences of such weakness. The weak lie, the insecure slander, and the insecure attempt to compensate by denigrating others. Jealousy, in particular, is a symptom of a fragile self. Women with weak, insecure souls are more troubled by polygyny than those with strength of character, awareness, and spiritual maturity.

Treatment of Jealousy

Understanding the cause of jealousy clarifies that its cure lies in treating the carnal self. Jealousy, defined as the wish for the removal of another’s blessing, is a severe spiritual illness. Those afflicted suffer themselves and harm no one else, for their envy does not diminish the blessings of others. If the jealous person realizes that they are their own worst enemy, they will gain spiritual strength and free themselves from this harmful trait, since no one wishes to be their own enemy.

To overcome jealousy, one must struggle against the desires of the ego and replace them with virtuous qualities. Another method is to prepare oneself to be content with others’ blessings and wish similar blessings for all. Furthermore, reflecting on the transient nature of worldly blessings, the certainty of death, and the omnipresence of God can help diminish jealousy.

Jealousy as a Catalyst for Female Spiritual Development

Women, due to their heightened emotions, are more susceptible to jealousy. Therefore, they must strive earnestly to eradicate this flaw, understanding that their well-being and happiness depend on rejecting it. A woman who feels jealousy and recognises its harm must realise that it indicates a weak self and an unstable heart, incompatible with peace and joy. She should strengthen her faith and keep herself away from satanic whisperings and negative imaginings. Each individual, especially women, should view others’ blessings as tests and opportunities for self-discovery, whether these blessings are material or spiritual, related to polygyny or not.

A woman of dignity will not be indifferent to her own deficiencies and can use such circumstances to strengthen her faith and spiritual maturity, thereby enduring the presence of a co-wife without distress. Such a degree of spiritual development may lead a woman even to facilitate polygyny herself, living harmoniously with her husband’s additional wives. Although not a religious obligation, this is an ideal of growth.

Hence, worldly blessings are fleeting and insignificant compared to spiritual perfection. This understanding can reduce selfish imaginations and help a woman reach such a level of maturity that jealousy and similar illnesses no longer trouble her. While this high standard is rare in our troubled society and sometimes impractical due to external obstacles, removing ignorance and strengthening spiritual and psychological capabilities can help eradicate jealousy.

Polygyny and the Nature of Women

From the above, it can be concluded that although women’s natural inclinations may initially conflict with polygyny, this does not mean it is irrational or unjust. Human nature, particularly women’s, can be controlled through healthy upbringing, and if societal disorders are absent, some women may accept polygyny and live with co-wives in peace and happiness. The claim that “polygyny opposes women’s nature” is therefore not entirely accurate; rather, it reflects societal habits and male misconduct that distort women’s perceptions.

If this opposition were innate, women would always reject polygyny and leave their husbands, which is not the case. Some women accept polygyny for religious reasons, love of their husband, or material benefit, leading to peaceful family lives. Thus, opposition to polygyny is often a consequence of negative social conditions and poor behaviour, which can be remedied through proper education and just laws.

Women’s Nature and the Case of Sarah

A question arises: If polygyny is not contrary to women’s nature, why did Sarah, wife of Prophet Abraham (AS), oppose Hagar, his second wife, to the extent that Abraham had to migrate with Hagar and her son Ishmael? Since Abraham was a prophet and unlikely to have behaved improperly, Sarah’s opposition presumably stemmed from natural disposition.

Narrations from the Imams suggest that Sarah was not upset by Abraham’s marriage to Hagar but was distressed when Hagar bore a child while Sarah remained childless. Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (AS) mentioned that Sarah repented for having been harsh to Abraham and unkind to Hagar. Therefore, Sarah’s opposition was not to the polygyny itself, but to the distress of infertility, a deeper psychological and social issue.

Similar, even more intense, conflicts occurred in Islamic history, such as Aisha’s hostility towards Fatimah, which was unrelated to polygyny but to social position and children. Thus, polygyny per se does not inherently cause hostility; context and individual circumstances play crucial roles. God granted Sarah a son, Isaac, in old age, ensuring the continuity of prophecy through him, while Aisha, despite proximity to the Prophet (PBUH), failed to attain such spiritual success.

Failure to Implement: Hidden Corruption

If polygyny were implemented correctly in a healthy society, many individual and social corruptions would be eliminated. However, we do not seek a corrupt society, yet we fail to pursue its health effectively. One of the main causes of immorality in Muslim societies is the inadequate understanding and application of Islamic marriage laws. If people were spiritually mature and society healthy, such problems would not arise.

Islam’s allowance for polygyny aims to enable men and women to find balance under just conditions. It is wrong to reject polygyny outright or to endorse polyandry, which would spread immorality and undermine human dignity and values.

With adequate social resources and open religious guidance, corruption and vice diminish, removing the need for unhealthy motivations.

Is it better for a man to live daily in anxiety, sin, and betrayal, polluting himself and society, and exploiting women for lust, or to conform to divine laws that prevent such evils?

Can one believe that societies where monogamy is the norm are free of corruption and all men and women live in harmony and satisfaction with their sole spouses? Corruption and decay undoubtedly exist beneath appearances. While some individuals may be pious, society as a whole rarely is.

Therefore, the path to health and happiness lies in following the truth, which is the way of the infallible and the Sharia, revealing all aspects of human life without deviation.

In conclusion, polygyny, far from being irrational, can benefit both women and society when applied justly and under appropriate circumstances.

The Right of Divorce: Misconceptions and Islamic Perspectives

The assertion that “the right of divorce belongs solely to the husband, and the wife has no power of release or escape” is inaccurate. In fact, a woman may, if necessary and for justifiable reasons, initiate separation by presenting valid evidence to a judge and the law, thereby implementing her decision. The only limitation imposed on a woman’s autonomy in this matter is to prevent emotional impulses from causing disruption, dissolution, and destruction within the family life.

Therefore, divorce is not exclusively for resolving the husband’s problems with the wife’s exclusion. Islam seeks that both husband and wife act on the basis of reason and prudence, avoiding emotional or hasty decisions, resorting to divorce only when necessary. This is particularly important given that the woman is often more vulnerable than the man in this regard.

The Husband’s Execution of the Divorce Formula

Another objection raised is: if divorce nullifies the marriage contract and concerns both husband and wife, why is its phrasing in the husband’s voice—he declares, “I divorce you”—and the wife, even if the judge intervenes, cannot undertake such an act herself?

In response, one must understand that the wording of divorce represents the repudiation of the husband’s acceptance of the wife’s proposal at the time of marriage contract formation. When the wife offers the marriage proposal, it is the husband’s acceptance that carries the significant responsibility of married life; the wife’s proposal merely signifies her intention and decision. By pronouncing divorce, the husband negates this acceptance so that no proposal or contract remains, releasing both parties from mutual obligations, except for certain legal consequences and duties after divorce such as the ‘iddah (waiting period) and reconciliation rights.

Hence, there is no detriment or loss to either party in the phrasing and meaning of the divorce formula. Moreover, there is a natural relationship between marriage and divorce, with divorce negating the acceptance of the proposal in the marriage contract.

Women and Divorce: The Question of Inequality

Another common concern is that according to Islamic law, men and women do not have equal rights concerning divorce. Men can divorce their wives arbitrarily and unlawfully, and the divorce still takes effect, whereas women, even in many cases of marital hardship, cannot obtain a divorce except in rare and extremely difficult circumstances, requiring strenuous effort and judicial permission. This clearly illustrates the difference between men and women regarding the right to divorce.

The answer acknowledges that this observation is correct in some respects, especially regarding the undue administrative delays which have no basis in Islamic law and are in contradiction with it. Beyond this social issue, which is not a matter of religion, there are two points to consider: first, why has divine law been delineated in this way? Second, does this arrangement harm the woman?

Regarding the first point, it must be noted that in times of crisis, a woman’s emotions tend to overpower her reason, and it is undesirable for life’s governance to be left to emotional impulses. Since the husband bears the general responsibility of managing family life, the decision-making authority in crises must rest with him, so he may, with prudence and detachment from emotion, pursue the best interests of himself, his wife, and children. Any arbitrary or unjustified action by the husband in this matter constitutes a sin and may be subject to legal penalties within an Islamic society. If the woman were the primary decision-maker in such situations, her strong emotions might lead to dangerous decisions harmful to herself, her spouse, and her children. Divorce represents the most critical and irrevocable juncture in family life and must not be left to emotional whims. It is the husband who must carefully evaluate all circumstances and make the appropriate decision.

Regarding the second point, Islamic law ensures that a husband cannot place his wife in an unstable or unjust condition; if such a situation arises, the authorities intervene, possibly resulting in penalties or imprisonment for the husband.

Therefore, while the right of divorce rests with the husband, it does not imply that the wife cannot seek a lawful divorce or that the husband may oppress or wrong the wife. It must also be noted that divorce may cause harm to either or both spouses, not only to the wife.

Divorce as Resolution, Not Hostility

A crucial issue deserving attention is the nature of divorce in Islam. It must be asked whether the types and practices of divorce observed today in Muslim societies align with the principles of Islam.

It is evident that the divorce practices prevalent today often contradict the Quran and the teachings of the Imams. Many doubts and problems stem from improper implementation and misuse of Islam’s advanced legal provisions on divorce.

Islam mandates that divorce occur with kindness and goodwill, not out of spite or malice. When Muslim spouses decide that separation is in their mutual interest and well-being, the husband must treat the wife kindly after divorce, free from harm, reproach, or insult, during the ‘iddah period. Though he may release her before the ‘iddah ends, this too must be done respectfully.

If the husband wishes to reconcile with the wife during this period, he may do so easily without formalities—even a gesture such as a touch or a smile suffices. Divorce, however, is not so simple, as the husband must fulfill certain conditions, such as the testimony of two just men and payment of the dowry if unpaid.

Is it then true that contemporary divorce practices contradict Islamic law, or is there a flaw in Islamic rulings?

The Quran commands kindness after divorce during the ‘iddah, stating:

“And when you divorce women and they reach their prescribed term, either retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. And do not retain them to cause them harm…” (Quran 2:231)

Similarly, Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said:

“It is inappropriate for a man to divorce his wife, then reconcile with her without necessity, then divorce her again; this is harm which Allah forbids, except when reconciliation is intended for retention.”

Thus, after divorce, a man should cause no trouble or ill-treatment in the woman’s future life. Anyone obstructing her after the ‘iddah is subject to divine wrath.

The Quran further instructs:

“And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying with their consent in a fair manner…” (Quran 2:232)

This verse forbids unnecessary jealousy and obstruction of the woman’s remarriage.

Islam regards divorce as a necessity, not an act of vengeance. The verses command kindness and noble conduct towards the woman whether she remains with her husband or separates from him.

Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) also stated:

“When a man intends to marry a woman, he should say: I accept the covenant which Allah has taken to either retain her kindly or release her graciously.”

If divorce is conducted with kindness and only out of necessity, God bestows His special mercy and grants both parties a better life. The Quran says:

“And if they separate, Allah will provide for each according to His abundance; and Allah is all-Encompassing, Wise.” (Quran 65:7)

Thus, divorce is not enmity or a permanent end, but a temporary setback that may lead to greater happiness.

Children of Divorce

One may argue that although divorce is a necessity, it is also the most hated solution to family and social problems, notably because of the children of divorce who may become the source of many societal difficulties.

Islam entrusts paternal responsibility for economic, managerial, and educational aspects of the child, easing the mother’s burden. However, depriving a mother of her child causes emotional difficulties for both, especially when moral and spiritual values in society are weak and parents attempt to use the child to retaliate against each other. Courts sometimes issue heartless rulings allowing minimal visitation in strained circumstances, further exacerbating social and psychological harms.

Is there a more painful scene than a mother who can see her child only briefly, under judicial supervision, once a week? Such deprivation sows seeds of social maladjustment and psychological trauma, which are due not to religion but to a lack of proper religious culture and moral decay.

To prevent such issues, one must address the causes of marital discord beforehand by imposing legal restrictions on marriage to avoid unions based on whim or ignorance, thus preventing future social pathologies.

Even if such preventive measures fail, the existence of these side effects is, like divorce itself, a necessary social reality. However, efforts must be made to reduce their frequency and severity.

When divorce occurs, appropriate measures must be taken, considering individuals’ circumstances, types of problems, compatibility of the child with the father, and the prevalence of divorce, to establish better judicial rulings.

Islam assigns children to fathers to alleviate the mother’s burden, not to deprive her of motherhood or to punish her. A short, forced weekly visit under legal supervision is the most distressing meeting a mother and child could have, fostering many future social and psychological disorders.

Divorce and the Husband’s Challenges

What problems face the husband after divorce, and how should he address them? Does he face serious difficulties, and might they surpass those of the wife?

The husband’s post-divorce problems fall into three categories:

Loneliness, emotional and sexual issues, and instability within the household and social environment.
Lack of managerial and emotional capacity towards the child.
Negative psychological and social repercussions among relatives and in social standing.

Each issue is significant and requires prudent, patient, and cooperative efforts to resolve.

Regarding household and child-related problems, the husband must act wisely and prevent deficiencies as much as possible. Emotional shortcomings towards children should be compensated through the assistance of relatives, acquaintances, and neighbors. If none are available, he must bear this heavy responsibility himself.

Concerning external matters, such as work, the husband should reduce his workload to devote more time to repairing familial deficiencies, , if his circumstances permit.

If he can remarry, this will help alleviate emotional problems and provide better parental support for his children. If he cannot remarry, he must exert all efforts to maintain calm and order in family matters.

The Wife’s Problems After Divorce

The wife often faces severe hardships following divorce, including social, economic, psychological, and physical challenges. Yet, she may often conceal these difficulties due to pride, religious values, or societal pressures.

Society often attributes social harms to divorced women alone, ignoring their husbands’ roles and responsibilities.

Women’s economic and social hardships after divorce are often exacerbated by societal attitudes, legal limitations, and family pressures.

Yet Islam encourages the protection and support of divorced women, recognizing their vulnerable position and requiring that men provide maintenance during the ‘iddah and even after divorce in many circumstances.

Divorce, Community, and the State

The phenomenon of divorce is not merely a personal or family matter but involves social and legal dimensions.

Islam calls on society and the state to regulate marriage and divorce in a manner that safeguards the rights and dignity of both spouses and their children.

Legislation must be based on Islamic principles but also adapted to modern realities, preventing misuse of divorce, and protecting vulnerable parties.

Societal culture must be raised to reduce divorce rates by promoting family cohesion, tolerance, and responsible behavior.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the right of divorce, while primarily vested in the husband, is not an instrument of oppression but a responsibility conditioned by reason, justice, and compassion.

The wife, too, has recourse to lawful divorce through legal channels when necessary.

Islamic teachings promote kindness, justice, and mutual respect in all aspects of marriage and divorce.

Divorce is not a desirable act but a necessary remedy in certain cases, and its practice must always be governed by wisdom, equity, and mercy.

Another criticism raised against the issue of marriage pertains to “temporary marriage” or “legal mut’ah.” Some argue that such a form of intercourse bears no difference to adultery. They claim that if adultery is improper, then legal mut’ah is no less reprehensible; since in this act, the woman is merely an instrument of the man’s carnal desires.

How can it be acceptable that a woman is made available to a man for an hour, a day, or a variable duration, becoming a means for his gratification, and through a few words recited in the temporary marriage contract, this usage and exploitation of her become lawful? Especially when payment is involved. Here too, as in adultery, the woman is nothing more than a commodity at the disposal of the man, who compensates her for his satisfaction, thereby subjecting her to a transaction akin to buying and selling.

Therefore, just as adultery is a vile and detestable act, so too is temporary marriage—arguably even worse; because aside from the exploitation of the woman, the presence of payment or wages further humiliates her. Undoubtedly, such intercourse constitutes an affront to the woman, as she is treated like a commodity and the compensation given in return for exploiting her renders her an instrument for the man’s sexual gratification.

Truly, what difference is there between temporary marriage and illicit sexual relations? It is evident that both are essentially the same, differing only in nomenclature. Why should a woman be used as a means of gratification for a man without limitations on his part, while all restrictions fall upon the woman?

Before addressing these misconceptions, it is appropriate first to briefly outline some of the legal issues pertaining to temporary and permanent marriage, and then to explain the essential differences between mut’ah and adultery, so as to provide greater awareness and insight for all.

Differences between Permanent and Temporary Marriage

In permanent marriage, no time limit is set; its effects and continuity persist not only during the lifetime of both spouses but also remain valid after the death of one party, although many of its benefits may cease. For example, after a wife’s death, her husband remains the closest person responsible for washing, shrouding, and burying her. However, in temporary marriage, time plays a crucial role and must be explicitly specified, although in matters such as washing after death, there is no difference from permanent marriage.

Regarding the payment of dower (mahr), there is no difference between temporary and permanent marriage; in both cases, the man is obliged to pay mahr. Indeed, the woman may demand a higher mahr in a temporary contract than in a permanent one, and the man must pay it if he consents.

The foundation of permanent marriage lies in the establishment of a family, the continuation and preservation of lineage, which bind the man and woman to a shared and stable life, albeit one in which the woman’s submission and the man’s superiority are expected. Temporary marriage, in many respects, does not share these characteristics.

In permanent marriage, the primary responsibility for life’s affairs lies with the man, including the upbringing and direct care of children. In contrast, temporary marriage lacks many of the features of permanent marriage, such as inheritance rights, the wife’s obligation to obtain her husband’s permission in certain matters, the necessity to accept the man’s decision regarding having children, and other aspects fully addressed in jurisprudence.

The duration of a temporary marriage can even exceed that of a permanent marriage; it can be contracted for one hundred years or more, or for a much shorter period. Therefore, in mut’ah, the factor of time—like the dower—exists and varies in degree.

While permanent marriage does not specify a particular period, it inherently considers an indefinite time. By contrast, the time constraint is fundamental to temporary marriage. The temporary marriage contract terminates upon the expiry of the specified period or by the husband’s forgiveness, whereas permanent marriage requires a formal divorce process, including the utterance of the divorce formula and compliance with conditions such as the presence of just witnesses.

Chapter Two: Reasons for Temporary Marriage

Response to Objections

Part One: Rational Reasons

First Reason: Resolving Individual Issues

Temporary marriage aims to address the material and psychological needs of men and women, as well as to provide a preventive measure against sin, an act of grace and favour towards religious adherents to avoid transgression. Islam seeks to protect believers from vulnerability to sin and social harm.

In society, many men and women become separated, lose their spouses, or face difficulties that prevent them from cohabitating for life. Consequently, one party remains alone. In such situations, a healthy society must offer solutions for these individuals. Islam, in the best possible way, has addressed this issue by instituting temporary marriage to resolve such problems and prevent social, psychological, and ethical disorders.

Unpredictable events such as accidents, wars, and conflicts often claim the lives of men more than women. Moreover, men generally possess more wealth, property, and resources than women, whether the latter are under their parents’ care or living with their husbands. Therefore, Islam has granted the woman rights in temporary and permanent marriage, such as the dower, to provide her with security against difficulties and needs.

“Marry me, marry me, for I dislike meeting the Messenger of God while I am unmarried.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) established a culture in early Islam where individuals in society abhorred loneliness and solitude. The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) repeatedly stated:

“Most of the inhabitants of Hell are unmarried.”
This is because the natural propensity for sin and corruption is greater among those who are alone.

It is clear that in a society where not everyone could maintain permanent marriage, it cannot be claimed that temporary marriage was universally detested; rather, the opposite is more plausible.

An important point to consider is that the basis for temporary marriage lies in necessity—not indulgence or pleasure-seeking. The rationale behind such rulings is to address psychological needs, fulfil desires, provide for the unsupported and orphans, and alleviate economic difficulties. Therefore, those who do not face such problems naturally have less cause to resort to these rulings. This is also emphasised in our narrations, such as in Al-Kafi, where Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) says:

“It is a lawful and permissible matter for those whom God has not blessed with permanent marriage; they should seek chastity through temporary marriage.”

Similarly, Imam Musa ibn Ja’far (peace be upon him) replied to Ali ibn Yaqtin:

“Why do you need temporary marriage when God has made you self-sufficient from it?”
Ali replied:
“I merely wished to know your opinion.”
The Imam said:
“It is mentioned in the book of Ali.”

The Caliph’s Opposition

Another significant issue is uncovering the reason for the Caliph’s opposition and its practical consequences. This demands detailed explanation; here we only offer a brief mention.

Regarding the first matter, the opposition of the second Caliph should be sought in his psychological and spiritual traits. He was a closed-minded, short-tempered, rigid, superficial, and ascetic individual. These traits caused hasty decisions and their subsequent abandonment.

Many such decisions and their immediate reversals can be observed in the historical records of the second Caliph. These instances help understand his spiritual-psychological characteristics with historical evidence and clarify why he opposed temporary marriage.

On the second point, temporary marriage is a vital social and individual reality. As Imam Ali (peace be upon him) stated:
“If Umar had not opposed this matter, only the wicked would have committed fornication.”
This indicates that proper implementation of this ruling would have solved many social problems, to the extent that only wicked and problematic individuals would resort to such grave sins.

The Words of the Imams

After presenting the divine verses on temporary marriage and its significance, it is necessary to cite some narrations to clarify the position of this religious ruling and the Shia belief concerning it.

Abu Basir reports: I asked Abu Ja’far (peace be upon him) about temporary marriage. He said:
“Its ruling was revealed in the Qur’an: ‘So for whatever you enjoy of them, give them their due compensation as an obligation; and there is no blame upon you for what you mutually agree after the obligation.’”
This noble narration clarifies the meaning of temporary marriage in this verse and shows the Shia foundation of this ruling as a Qur’anic principle.

The Imams (peace be upon them) always defended their rulings against opponents by resorting to the words of the Prophet or the Qur’an, although their followers accepted their statements without need for such justification.

Abdullah ibn Sulaiman says: I heard Abu Ja’far (peace be upon him) say:
“Ali (peace be upon him) said: If it were not for Ibn al-Khattab’s prohibition before my rule, no one but the vile would have committed adultery.”
This narration highlights the importance of the temporary marriage ruling and the harm caused by its suspension, as well as Ibn al-Khattab’s (Umar’s) opposition and innovation in religion.

Further Narrations and Arguments

Other narrations from the Imams repeatedly confirm the permissibility and necessity of temporary marriage. For instance, when Abdullah ibn Umyr al-Laythi asked Imam Baqir (peace be upon him) about temporary marriage, the Imam affirmed that God had permitted it in the Qur’an and by the Prophet’s statement, and that it remains lawful until the Day of Resurrection, regardless of Umar’s prohibition.

When questioned, the Imam challenged Abdullah ibn Umyr to a mubahala (mutual curse) to affirm whose words were true—the Prophet’s or the Caliph’s.

This incident reveals several points:

The ruling has Qur’anic origin and eternal validity; Umar’s prohibition is opposition to the Qur’an and Sunnah.
The oppression of the era meant that Shias could not freely express their views.
When the Imam realised Abdullah was evading argument, he distanced himself calmly.
There is no essential difference between temporary and permanent marriage in principle, each having its own position and importance.

Addressing Criticism

a) Women are not commodities

Opponents claim that temporary marriage treats women as commodities. The response is that in both temporary and permanent marriage, pleasure is mutual, not solely for the man. Unlike buying a commodity, where the owner has absolute control, in temporary marriage the woman consents to mutual enjoyment and retains agency. One of the benefits for the woman is the dowry, which narrations describe as sweeter than honey and a healing gift.

Moreover, the ijab (offer) in the contract, which involves the woman entrusting enjoyment to the man, is a grace granted to her by the law, allowing her to retain initial control. The man cannot initiate ijab unilaterally, forcing the woman to accept.

Therefore, the contract does not treat the woman as a commodity, but rather as an active decision-maker who exercises power in marriage.

b) Distinction between Temporary Marriage and Adultery

Critics say temporary marriage is no different from adultery, but there are fundamental distinctions:

Temporary marriage is not illicit sexual intercourse but a lawful contract that prevents social and individual corruption; adultery causes disorder and corruption.
Temporary marriage is governed by specific laws—time limits, dowry, waiting periods—whereas adultery is lawless and unregulated.
Similarity in appearance does not equate to similarity in value or moral status.

These points establish that temporary marriage and adultery are categorically different in nature, legal status, and social effect.

Chapter Three: Objections and Responses

A: A Woman Is Not a Commodity

After presenting the rational and scriptural reasons for temporary marriage, we now address the second major objection raised by critics, who claim that in mut’ah (temporary marriage), a woman is treated like a commodity.

In response, it must be stated that in both temporary and permanent marriage, sexual enjoyment is not solely for the man, so it is erroneous to assert that the woman is offered as a commodity. Rather, while providing pleasure, the woman herself also attains pleasure, and both parties partake mutually in this matter. In the exchange of commodities, there exists a buyer and an owner, but the commodity itself possesses a nature distinct from both; an owner, whether former or current, may exercise any control over the commodity. In mut’ah, however, the woman is not akin to this: she grants the usufruct of herself to the man, and in turn receives enjoyment from him, and this mutual enjoyment and satisfaction is nothing but the sweet and inherent fruit of the existence of both woman and man.

Furthermore, one of the other benefits that a woman receives in temporary marriage—just as in permanent marriage—is the mahr (dowry), from which the man derives no benefit. This gift, as indicated in the narrations, is sweeter than honey, takes on the title of a remedy, and is the most agreeable asset a woman gains in her life.[75]

On the other hand, the offer of the contract—which is the relinquishment of the woman’s enjoyment to the man—is, in fact, a gracious privilege granted by Islamic law to the woman, giving her the power of choice from the outset. The man is considered passive and subordinate regarding this initial decision of the woman, allowing her to decide naturally and with greater consideration for her future. For this reason, the man cannot initiate the offer first, compelling the woman to accept a fait accompli; only the woman may initiate the offer.

Therefore, the offer in the contract or the mahr not only does not reduce the woman to a commodity, but rather positions her as an active decision-maker, enabling her to have greater power over the marriage and the freedom to dispose of material and spiritual enjoyments.

B: Differences Between Temporary Marriage and Adultery

The third objection raised by opponents of this sacred institution is the claim that there is no difference between temporary marriage and adultery; however, these two differ fundamentally and essentially, some of which are outlined below:

Mut’ah is not like adultery or illicit sexual intercourse; the nature of the two is fundamentally different. Temporary marriage serves to prevent personal and social needs, risks, and contamination, whereas adultery is a source of numerous social disorders and corruptions.
Mut’ah is governed by specific laws, such as the determination of the duration of marriage, the woman’s mahr, and the obligation of the waiting period (iddah), whereas adultery is an unregulated act, lacking specific form or conditions, and may take varied shapes and forms. In contrast, all participants in mut’ah are bound by uniform conditions and nature.
Similarity between two matters does not necessarily indicate that both are good or bad, virtuous or vile. It is possible for two similar matters to differ completely in value. This is a common principle in various concepts, and similarity in one respect does not imply equivalence in all respects.
There are numerous differences between adultery and mut’ah, clearly demonstrated by their external reasons and identity. While similarities can be found between many things, this does not justify equating them or treating them identically.
Sexual intercourse alone should not lead to such a conclusion, otherwise all forms of intercourse would be considered either adultery or marriage, which is an unreasonable assumption no sensible person would accept.
Specifying a duration in temporary marriage is obligatory, regardless of whether the time is short or long. The key point is setting a fixed period—be it an hour or a hundred years. Conversely, adultery is based on fleeting, emotional, unaccountable encounters without any time restrictions, motivated solely by corrupt desires, in which the woman is merely an instrument for the gratification of vile lusts.
Temporary marriage may occur without sexual intercourse and even without meeting or contact, whereas adultery cannot be conceived without such acts, which are inherently exploitative and devoid of sincere emotions or spiritual motivations.
Mut’ah considers human, emotional, political, and social aspects, preserving general and individual dignity and cooperation, while adultery is solely the pursuit of base lusts and animalistic desires.
Temporary marriage upholds a woman’s honour and social dignity, whereas adultery only results in deprivation, social harm, and the downfall of personal standing. In adultery, a woman is reduced to nothing more than a tool for satisfying corrupt individuals’ vile passions, far below the status of a commodity, leading to her ruin and degradation. Conversely, such terms are alien to mut’ah.
In adultery, any offspring conceived are regarded as illegitimate, without parentage, subject to many legal and social disabilities; whereas in temporary marriage, the child has a definite status and enjoys full legal and social recognition without any complications.
In adultery, neither party assumes responsibility for the other, being enslaved only to their own lusts and devilish desires; in contrast, mut’ah imposes mutual responsibilities: the woman is limited to the particular man, and the man acquires certain rights, just as the woman does with respect to him.

On the Distinction Between Temporary Marriage (Mut’ah) and Adultery in Islamic Jurisprudence

Ali ibn Ahmad ibn Ushaym narrated: “Al-Rayyān ibn Shabīb—meaning Abu al-Hasan—wrote to Imam al-Ridha (peace be upon him) about a man who entered into a temporary marriage (mut’ah) with a woman, agreeing on a specified dowry and fixed term. He paid part of the dowry upfront and deferred the rest. After consummating the marriage but before paying the remaining dowry, he learned that the woman, despite being temporarily married to him, already had a permanent husband living with her. He asked whether withholding the rest of the dowry was permissible. Imam al-Ridha (peace be upon him) replied that he should pay nothing because she had disobeyed God Almighty.”

Al-Rayyān ibn Shabīb wrote to Imam al-Ridha (peace be upon him) as follows:
A man temporarily married a woman with an agreed dowry and term. He paid part of the dowry, and she consented to defer the remainder. After consummation, but before paying the remainder, he found out she had a permanent husband residing with her. Is it lawful for him to withhold the remainder of the dowry?
The Imam replied: She should be given nothing because she has committed disobedience to God.

From these narrations, it is evident that legitimate temporary marriage (mut’ah) is fundamentally different in essence and nature from adultery (zina). Indeed, this religious institution has defined boundaries and characteristics and is entirely distinct from such immoral acts.

Other narrations outline the conditions, effects, and rulings governing temporary marriage, clarifying its substantive distinction from adultery. Some key points include:

In a narration from Zurārah from Abu Abdillah (peace be upon him):
“Temporary marriage requires two essential elements: a specified duration and a specified dowry.”
Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) emphasised that temporary marriage cannot be valid without these conditions, unlike adultery which can occur without such terms.
Muhammad ibn Muslim asked:
“What is the required dowry for temporary marriage?”
The Imam replied:
“Whatever the man and woman mutually agree upon for the fixed term.”
Although mutual consent is necessary, specifying the dowry and duration is mandatory, contrary to adultery which can occur in any form.

Revival of the Prophetic Tradition of Temporary Marriage

To further highlight the intrinsic difference between temporary marriage and adultery, we note the encouragement and rewards prescribed by Islamic law for temporary marriage, in contrast to the severe prohibitions and punishments for adultery.

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said:
“I dislike a man dying while he still has an unfulfilled Sunnah (tradition) from the Messenger of Allah, which he has not performed.”
When asked if the Prophet (peace be upon him) practised temporary marriage, he affirmed and recited the Quranic verse:
“And when the Prophet confided to one of his wives a private matter…” (Quran 66:3-5).
Isma’il ibn al-Fadl al-Hashimi reported that Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) asked him:
“Have you ever engaged in temporary marriage since leaving your family?”
He replied:
“Due to my frequent relations with my permanent wife, I am excused.”
The Imam said:
“Even if you are self-sufficient, I wish you to revive the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah.”

From this noble hadith, several points arise:

Sexual satisfaction and good conduct of a wife can satisfy a man and prevent him from seeking relations outside the marriage, preserving both his purity and the societal fabric. Good husbandry by the wife is considered a form of ‘jihad in the way of God,’ honouring her with the highest religious title.
Similarly, a husband’s care and motivation invigorate the wife’s chastity, preserving her from sinful desires.
Good spousal conduct is a fundamental principle in family life and should not be conflated with other household duties such as child-rearing or hospitality; it deserves the highest priority.
Many current social and moral problems arise from the failure to uphold these principles in families. Educating the public and correcting these foundations is crucial for societal reform.
The Imam’s recommendation of temporary marriage even for those who do not personally need it reflects a social concern for others’ needs and the preservation of this divine tradition.

Abu Basir reported:
“Imam al-Sadiq asked me if I had engaged in temporary marriage since leaving my family. I said no due to financial constraints. He gave me a dinar and swore me to perform it before returning home.”
This indicates the tradition was endangered, prompting the Imam to ensure its survival.

Temporary Marriage and Forgiveness of Sins

Imam al-Baqir (peace be upon him) was asked:
“Is there reward for those who practice temporary marriage?”
He replied:
“If done sincerely for the sake of God and in opposition to those who deny it, then every word spoken to the temporary wife earns reward, every gesture earns reward, and when consummated, God forgives a sin. When performing the ritual bath afterward, sins are forgiven as numerous as the hairs on the body.”

He further narrated that for every drop of water dripping from the body during the bath, seventy angels are created who pray for the person until the Day of Resurrection, while those who avoid it are cursed.

Temporary Marriage as a Divine Gift

Adultery is associated with many moral corruptions and sins, while temporary marriage purifies, refines ethics, and establishes individual and social chastity. Hence, equating legitimate mut’ah, a divine benevolence, with satanic adultery is fundamentally incorrect.

Those who promote immorality and oppose divine rulings under the guise of women’s rights in fact sow disorder and exploit women. Their opposition stems from corrupt ideology and social dysfunction, serving satanic desires.

Temporary marriage safeguards individual and societal chastity and benefits women materially and spiritually. It is not a commodification of women, since both parties gain satisfaction and protection from corruption; women also gain rights to dowry and support.

Temporary Marriage and Its Recommendation

Narrations strongly encourage temporary marriage:

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) wished that no man dies without performing temporary marriage at least once.
This tradition was considered essential for social and spiritual welfare.

Temporary Marriage (Mut’ah) and Its Distinction from Adultery

Ali ibn Ahmad ibn Ashim reported: “Al-Riyyan ibn Shabib (i.e., Abu al-Hasan) wrote to Imam al-Ridha (peace be upon him), asking: A man marries a woman temporarily (mut’ah) for a specified dowry and fixed term, paying part of the dowry upfront and deferring the remainder. After consummating the marriage but before paying the remaining dowry, he discovers that the woman has a permanent husband living with her. Does he have the right to withhold the remaining dowry or not?” Imam replied: “He must not pay her anything, because she has disobeyed Allah Almighty.”

From these narrations, it becomes clear that the lawful temporary marriage (mut’ah) is essentially different in its nature, characteristics, and implications from the immoral act of adultery (zina). Indeed, this religious institution has defined limits and boundaries and is fundamentally distinct from such moral corruption.

Other narrations further clarify the essential features, consequences, and rulings related to temporary marriage, which fundamentally distinguish it from adultery. Below are some key principles forming the core of temporary marriage:

In a narration from Zararah, on the authority of Abu Abdillah (peace be upon him), he said: “Temporary marriage does not occur without two conditions: a specified term and a specified dowry.”

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) emphasised that the foundation of the temporary marriage contract rests upon the determination of both the duration and the dowry. This contrasts with adultery, which can occur without any formal conditions.

Muhammad ibn Muslim asked Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him): “What is the required dowry for mut’ah?” He replied: “Whatever the parties mutually agree upon for the agreed term.”

While this narration emphasises mutual consent, it still mandates the determination of dowry and term, unlike adultery which has no such contractual requirements.

Revival of the Prophetic Tradition of Temporary Marriage

To further elucidate the essential differences between temporary marriage and adultery, we consider the encouragement by Islamic law of temporary marriage and its abundant rewards, alongside the prohibition of adultery and its severe punishments, so the reader may clearly discern the distinction between these two.

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “I dislike a man dying whilst leaving behind an obligation from the Prophet’s traditions that he did not perform.” When asked if the Prophet himself practised temporary marriage, he confirmed this and recited the verses from Surah At-Tahrim (66:3-5), referencing the Prophet’s relationships with his wives.
Isma’il ibn al-Fadl al-Hashimi relates that Imam Abu Abdillah (peace be upon him) asked him if he had ever entered into a temporary marriage since leaving his family. He replied that he was spared from this by virtue of his permanent wife’s companionship. The Imam advised that even if one does not personally need it, it is desirable to maintain the Prophetic tradition.

From this we deduce several points:

a) The sexual and moral satisfaction a wife provides helps keep the husband’s desires fulfilled, thereby preserving purity and health within society. A wife’s good conduct is among the highest virtues and is regarded as a form of spiritual jihad, granting her an esteemed status.

b) Similarly, husbands who attend to their wives’ needs foster mutual purity, harmony, and protection against sinful inclinations.

c) Good spousal relations form the bedrock of family life and must be upheld with utmost seriousness, surpassing other familial responsibilities.

d) Many contemporary social moral issues arise from deficiencies in fulfilling these principles within the family, indicating the importance of their proper understanding and application.

e) Even if an individual has no personal need for temporary marriage, the Imam stresses preserving this tradition for the collective good, as there may be others in society who require it due to financial or other reasons.

Abu Basir relates that upon meeting Imam Abu Abdillah (peace be upon him), he was asked if he had engaged in temporary marriage since leaving his home. When he replied in the negative due to financial constraints, the Imam gave him a dinar and swore him to enter into such a marriage before returning home.

This demonstrates the tradition’s endangered status and the Imam’s efforts to revive and perpetuate it.

Sheikh Saduq relates a narration stating: “A believer does not reach perfection except by practising temporary marriage.”
Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) also said: “By God, temporary marriage is superior in virtue even to the pilgrimage of Tamattu’, as the Qur’an was revealed for its significance and the Prophet’s practice was established upon it.”

Temporary Marriage and Forgiveness of Sins

Imam al-Baqir (peace be upon him) was asked: “Does one who practises temporary marriage receive reward?” He replied: “If done for the sake of Allah and in opposition to those who deny it, every word spoken to the temporary wife is recorded as a good deed; every gesture of intimacy brings another reward; intercourse wipes away a sin; and ablution afterwards forgives sins equal to the number of hairs on the body.”

This profound reward system underscores two major reasons: firstly, this practice refutes corrupt deviations propagated by tyrannical powers; secondly, it purifies society and individuals.

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) further stated: “Whoever practises temporary marriage and performs ablution thereafter will have seventy angels created for every drop of water that falls from his body, who will pray for his forgiveness until the Day of Judgment. Those who avoid it will be cursed until the Hour arises.”

Temporary Marriage as a Recommended Practice

Hisham ibn Salim reports that Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “It is recommended for a man to enter into temporary marriage, and I do not wish that any man among you dies without having engaged in temporary marriage at least once.”

Muhammad ibn Muslim also recounts that the Imam warned him not to depart this world without reviving this Sunnah.

The comprehensive message is clear: the objective is to revive a divine tradition, purify society, and prevent concealment of divine duties, thereby fostering societal health.

Temporary Marriage: A Divine Gift

Adultery and unlawful intercourse entail manifold moral corruptions and sins, serving as a catalyst for widespread depravity. In contrast, temporary marriage promotes purity, ethical refinement, and preservation of individual and collective chastity, safeguarding both men and women from corruption.

Hence, it is inconceivable to equate this sacred religious institution — a divine gift — with adultery, which is satanic.

Those who promote and practice adultery and shameless corruption, treating women merely as objects for gratification, falsely claim that temporary marriage devalues women. Such individuals oppose divine injunctions under the guise of advocating women’s rights but in reality, they perpetuate social disorder and exploitation, especially of women.

This misguided stance arises from intellectual and practical ruin, an unhealthy societal mindset, and submission to base desires and satanic whispers. Their obscurantist propaganda aims to corrupt society’s moral fabric and subjugate humanity to their worldly ambitions.

Temporary marriage protects individual and societal chastity. Women, far from being mere commodities, gain material and spiritual benefits from it, including the right to demand a dowry or other compensation.

When permanent and temporary marriages are vilified, it leads inevitably to increased unlawful relations, causing spiritual and social ruin. Consequently, officials shy away from reporting accurate data on moral disorders and illnesses such as AIDS, preferring denial or silence, unaware that such neglect leads to societal explosion.

Temporary Marriage and its Contractual Nature

A common objection to temporary marriage is that one of the conditions of the marriage contract — especially mut’ah — is specifying the dowry or payment, making it a form of transaction. When a woman declares that she is available to a man for a specified period in exchange for a certain sum, the explicitness of the contract transforms it into a clear commercial transaction. The woman, for the defined duration and price, places herself at the disposal of the man.

From this narration, several points can be derived:

If we are to assign a title to marriage, it should be called the “Sacred Union,” because from its inception to conclusion, and even in its preliminary stages, all aspects are virtuous and commendable. Few actions possess such a status.
Smiling, which signifies permission to enter and the beginning of entry into the sanctuary of love, chastity, and purity, carries ten merits and rewards. Thus, an action whose initiation is accompanied by such merit clearly indicates the ultimate virtue of that act, even if it were not explicitly stated.
When a man and a woman embrace one another such that two hearts become one and the vessel of unity between two hearts is formed, it carries one hundred merits and rewards.
At the moment when a man reaches the time of intimacy and consummation, beyond the three hundred merits assigned to him, the reward extends to his parents as well. God creates a palace in Paradise for each instance of marital intimacy, because such lawful union is a consequence of those parents; the child is the product of the father and mother’s act.
How should the creation and preservation of angels through glorification and seeking forgiveness until the Day of Resurrection be understood? Does the practical effect of such acts naturally cause their creation, or does the Truth (God) create them based on these acts? In any case, the greatness, nobility, and spirituality of a physical, carnal act accompanied by faith attain such an elevated status.
One might ask why this narration only mentions the ritual purification (ghusl) obligation for the man and not for the woman or the reward due to her. The answer is that Sharia, the Holy Qur’an, and narrations in cases of shared duties between men and women—such as this—out of modesty and respect, often address men only, while women are implicitly included since the ruling is the same for both.

Severe Punishment for Adultery and Boundless Reward for Marriage

Following this hadith, a reasonable question arises: The act of sexual intercourse is driven by carnal desires and is performed with inclination and pleasure. Everyone, believer or non-believer, is inclined towards it. It is neither a strenuous task nor an exhausting endeavour, nor is it a form of charity or jihad. So why is such abundant reward assigned to such a gratifying act? Should not there be proportionality between action and reward?

The response is that comparing an act with its opposite is the best method to understand its value and status. Regarding marriage, although many sins oppose it, chiefly adultery and sodomy stand against it. Both these abhorrent acts have severe punishments, including the death penalty for both parties. Adultery by a married person and sodomy result in execution. Although sodomy does not involve “marriage,” it is considered so vile that, according to narrations, even all the water in the world cannot purify a sodomite.

When such grave sins are met with such harsh penalties, the reward for marriage—which prevents these sins—must be correspondingly great.

One may ask why Islam treats these coercive and gratifying acts among humans with such gravity and sensitivity, mandating death for sin and vast reward for marriage?

The answer is that Islam considers a society healthy only when chastity and purity predominantly prevail. Marriage is the foundation of such societal health. To protect society from corruption—which destroys social well-being and reduces women’s status—strict deterrents against these sins are necessary. Islam has wisely legislated heavy punishments for sins and immense rewards for marriage to ensure societal health, individual growth, and tranquility.

Piety and Intention of Pleasure

Isaac ibn Ammar said: “I asked Abu Abdillah (Imam Ja‘far al-Sadiq) about a man travelling with his family who lacks water—may he have intercourse with his wife? He replied: ‘I do not like him to do so unless he fears for himself.’

I asked: ‘Does he seek pleasure or is he intensely desirous of women?’ He said: ‘The intensely desirous fears for himself.’

I asked: ‘Does he seek pleasure by it?’ He said: ‘It is lawful.’

I said: ‘It is narrated from the Prophet (PBUH) that Abu Dharr asked him about this, and he replied: “Approach your wife, and you will be rewarded.” Abu Dharr said: “O Messenger of God! I may approach them and be rewarded?” The Prophet said: “Just as when you commit the forbidden, you bear sin, so when you perform the lawful, you are rewarded.”’

Abu Abdillah (Imam Ja‘far al-Sadiq) concluded: ‘Do you not see that if he fears for himself and turns to the lawful, he is rewarded?’”

Several important points arise from this narration:

The questioner posed to Imam Ja‘far al-Sadiq the same question Abu Dharr had asked the Prophet, showing the narrator’s attentiveness.
The Imam does not criticize the intention of pleasure or intense desire; rather, he counts it as evidence of a man’s piety and self-restraint.
Even the act of marital intercourse with carnal pleasure intention holds reward, as it fulfills the wife’s desires and purifies both the individual and society from sin.
The Imam’s comparison between lawful and unlawful acts is crucial: just as adultery and sin carry severe punishment, lawful acts such as prayer, fasting, and marital intimacy carry abundant reward.

Support of the Prophet (PBUH) for Women’s Rights

Abu Abdillah (Imam Ja‘far al-Sadiq) said: “A woman came to the Prophet (PBUH) complaining: ‘O Messenger of God, ‘Uthman fasts all day and prays all night.’ The Prophet, angered, took his sandals and went to ‘Uthman, finding him praying. When ‘Uthman saw the Prophet, he stopped praying. The Prophet said: ‘O ‘Uthman, God did not send me to adopt asceticism, but rather to bring forth a religion that is pure, easy, and open-hearted. I fast and pray, and I also have intimacy with my family. Whoever loves my natural disposition must follow my example, and my example is marriage.’”

This narration presents several valuable teachings:

The Prophet’s anger at a man’s neglect of his wife and family suggests his profound concern for family rights; imagine his reaction if a man harms his wife and children.
The Prophet’s religious zeal motivated immediate action to resolve the woman’s complaint rather than delegating it, exemplifying high religious ethics every leader and community member should emulate.
This narration explicitly rejects monasticism, which Christianity promotes superficially, distancing it from Islam’s sacred principles.
The Prophet describes his way as pure, easy, and delightful—a law compatible with human nature—combining worship, purity, and moderation.
The Prophet openly discusses sexual relations without hypocrisy or concealment, affirming that abstaining from marriage is incompatible with his way and faith.

Sexual Intercourse and the Rejection of Hypocrisy and Pretence

Abu Dawud al-Mustaraq narrates from Abu Abdillah (Imam Ja‘far al-Sadiq) that three women approached the Prophet (PBUH). One said: “My husband does not eat meat,” another: “My husband does not use perfume,” and the third: “My husband does not approach women.” The Prophet, angry, went to the pulpit and said: “Why do some of my companions neither eat meat, use perfume, nor have intercourse with women? I eat meat, use perfume, and have intercourse with women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me.”

From this hadith, several matters are clear:

Women’s access to the Prophet and their openness in discussing intimate and private matters reflect his transparency and trustworthiness.
The Prophet’s concern about his companions neglecting natural human needs shows the importance he places on marital relations.
The Prophet openly admits to these human behaviours, thereby repudiating hypocrisy.

Similarly, Sukkain al-Nakha‘i, who practiced extreme asceticism, asked Imam Ja‘far al-Sadiq about avoiding women, perfume, and food. The Imam replied: “You know well the Prophet had multiple wives and ate meat and honey.”

This narration reveals that:

Spirituality without attention to natural desires and pleasures is flawed.
The Imam openly acknowledges the Prophet’s multiple wives without casting it as a deficiency.
The Prophet used natural, nourishing foods, emphasizing a balanced approach to worship and worldly life.

The Harmony of Prayer and Sexual Intercourse

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The comfort of my eyes is in prayer, and my pleasure is in women.”

Understanding this statement requires full attention: pleasure and fulfilment, whether carnal or spiritual, signify perfection. One who cannot achieve or understand pleasure is far from perfection. Both unbelievers and believers partake in pleasure, but the difference lies in the perfection of that pleasure, which leads to divine proximity. Whether through prayer or women, the intention and act contribute to spiritual ascension. Thus, prayer is itself a form of fulfilment unavailable to non-believers.

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The comfort of my eyes is in prayer, and my pleasure in this world is women, and my fragrance are Hasan and Husayn.”

This statement appears in several narrations, sometimes extended with references to perfume, prayer, women, and the Prophet’s grandsons Hasan and Husayn. The inclusion of these elements indicates the necessary interconnection between these sources of comfort and spiritual ascent: perfume stimulates purity, women prepare for ascent, and prayer consummates it. Separate, none produce the full effect.

Advice Regarding Women with Fair and Wheat-coloured Complexions

Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “I have experience in this matter. A woman with dark blue eyes is delightful, and a man’s happiness is when he removes his garment from a woman of fair complexion.”

A beautiful woman removes phlegm, whereas an unattractive woman induces black bile. There are many other points which require meticulous attention to the precise wording and characteristics mentioned in the words of the Infallibles (peace be upon them), in order to fully illuminate their scientific and psychological context.

It should be noted, however, that the language of these narrations highlights the virtues of women due to their desirability; nonetheless, in considering the attributes and qualities, men and women are equal, and each ought to strive within their capacity regarding their own desires.

Characteristics of Suitable Brides for Marriage

From Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him), it is narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Marry virgin girls, for they are the freshest in breath.” In another narration: “They are the most fertile in the womb, the softest in the breast, and their childbirth is easier and more abundant.”

Fresh breath is a sign of youth and younger age; fertility corresponds to the vigour and freshness of the womb; softness and fullness of the breast indicate youthful vitality and sexual desire.

From Abdullah ibn al-Mughira, from Abu al-Hasan (peace be upon him), who said: “I heard him say: ‘Choose women with wide hips, for they are more noble.'”

Nobility and wide hips are correlated with a woman’s strength and firmness, which is apparent through the hips. The term ‘wide hips’ refers specifically to those that are large, elongated, and firm, which in turn suggests the firmness of the breasts.

From Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him), the Commander of the Faithful (peace be upon him) said: “Marry wheat-coloured women with large, open eyes, wide hips, and a well-proportioned body; if you dislike them, then I shall bear their dowry.”

This narration recommends wheat-coloured women, rather than very pale ones, who have large and wide eyes, firm and ample hips, and a tall, well-proportioned figure. The presence of these qualities indicates physical perfection and a broad outlook. Such women possess feminine majesty, and their husbands are less likely to experience sexual dissatisfaction or frustration.

From one of our companions, it is reported: “When the Prophet (peace be upon him) wished to marry a woman, he would send someone to observe her and say to the emissary: ‘Smell her neck; if her neck smells pleasant, then her genitals are also likely to be pleasant. Examine her heel; if it is fleshy, then her sexual organ is large and firm.’”

This hadith refers to the pleasant smell of the neck — the area near the front and the base of the hair at the back — which signifies health, and the muscularity of the heel, indicating strength and firmness in the woman.

From Abu Ayyub al-Khazzaz, from Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him): “I have experienced white and wheat-coloured concubines, and there is a significant difference between them.”

The difference between fair and wheat-coloured women relates to the former’s softness and the latter’s greater sexual resilience and ability to withstand external advances.

From Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him), the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Marry blue-eyed women, for they bring prosperity.”

This attribute invigorates the man’s strength and nobility, preparing him better to face the difficulties of life.

From Abu al-Hasan (peace be upon him): “A man’s happiness lies in uncovering the garment of a fair-skinned woman.”

Here, ‘fair-skinned’ refers to a silvery white, distinct from very pale or wheat-coloured complexions, though all are considered beautiful. Each complexion has subtle differences: paleness denotes softness, silvery whiteness reflects vitality and freshness, and wheat colour embodies strength and firmness.

From Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him): “A beautiful woman removes phlegm, while an ugly woman incites black bile.”

Just as the human body needs food, the eyes require ‘visual nourishment’. Just as good and bad food exist, so too does ‘visual food’ affect the soul. Beauty alleviates certain psychological and temperament-related ailments, similar to how spoiled food exacerbates illnesses.

From Muhammad ibn Abdul Hamid, from a companion, from Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him): “He complained to me about phlegm, and I asked if he had a female servant who made him laugh. He said no. I said: ‘Then marry such a woman, for she removes phlegm.’”

Humour and laughter dispel dampness, heaviness, and melancholy, and laughter is indicative of such a temperament.

Two Questions Arise:

First: If everyone seeks good, healthy, and beautiful women, what should be done regarding other women, and how should they be regarded?

The answer is that these recommendations primarily highlight the virtues and challenges of individuals to raise awareness regarding marriage formation and spousal selection. They are intended to encourage informed and insightful choices, rather than implying that those who are good-looking will accept anyone for marriage. Hence, virtues and faults must be seen in light of compatibility, which is fundamental.

Compatibility and selection are intertwined: each person chooses a suitable counterpart. Accordingly, a sick or flawed individual may have a fulfilling life with a compatible partner, which might not be the case with others. This principle applies broadly and absolutely.

Second: Why are these narrations directed only at men regarding women, while there are no corresponding traits or advice about selecting men by women?

The response is that there is no essential difference in criteria for men and women. Where men are addressed, it is primarily out of modesty. Both genders have the right to choose, and there are many narrations about men’s qualities, though women’s descriptions are more frequent due to their desirability.

Education on Sexual Matters

As noted, for a healthy marriage and family compatibility, essential factors are: capability and prior knowledge.

In a healthy, religious, and civilised society, every young man and woman should be educated and examined before marriage to ensure a knowledgeable and insightful marital life. This process should be systematic and lawful to avoid superficiality.

A key question arises: how can these intimate matters, which naturally do not emerge publicly, be taught widely without compromising societal modesty, yet with sufficient clarity and candour?

The answer involves two principles:

Modesty cannot coexist with ignorance. To preserve dignity, one must not foster ignorance that leads to harm and problems. Essential knowledge should be provided widely and robustly, since life’s sweetness depends on it.
Education on these matters must not sacrifice modesty or lead to immodesty and disrespect. Awareness and chastity are both necessary, yet many contemporary so-called advanced societies have eroded modesty under the guise of knowledge, while some less-developed societies perpetuate ignorance under the pretext of modesty.

Practical Implementation

The provision of this education can occur in three general stages:

Stage One: Scientific and general education during primary to secondary schooling, incorporated with expert oversight, presenting marital life comprehensively but without arousing temptation.
Stage Two: Dissemination of general knowledge through all media to portray healthy and unhealthy aspects of life clearly.
Stage Three: Legally mandated courses across the country where individuals attend sessions prior to marriage, followed by examination and certification of ‘marriage competency’. Marriage would not be permitted without this certification, similar to health tests for marriage or licenses for driving vehicles.

Such institutions should be professionally and spiritually qualified and accessible. Additionally, optional courses should be available for ongoing education.

These courses, conducted by same-gender instructors, can address marital issues candidly yet respectfully, thus resolving the challenge of educating without compromising modesty.

Response to the Claim of Concealing Sexual Matters in Islam

It has been claimed that Muslims conceal sexual matters as a sign of piety, which leads to frustration and psychological problems.

The response is that modern societies, with their frankness and disrespect toward spirituality, have failed morally despite their openness, whereas Islam has been a pioneer in both spiritual and material pleasures.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), as the epitome of spiritual and human perfection, regarded women as earthly choices and addressed their enjoyment in refined terms without immodesty.

Thus, neither modesty should be compromised for knowledge, nor should ignorance be perpetuated in the name of modesty.

Imams and saints, while maintaining modesty, have addressed these topics either in response to questions or proactively to educate, which does not contradict chastity but rather promotes social and personal wellbeing.

The Most Delightful Thing

From Ali ibn Hassan, from one of our companions: “We asked Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him): ‘What is the most delightful thing?’ We all answered, ‘Nothing in particular.’ He said: ‘The most delightful thing is sexual intercourse with women.’”

This narration contains important points:

Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) addressed the most intimate and human matter openly.
The companions’ inability to answer showed their lack of awareness, which the Imam sought to correct.
The question itself is valuable, as it concerns the most pleasurable experience, and the Imam’s answer emphasises the importance of conjugal intimacy.
The term ‘mibada‘a’ refers linguistically to a piece of flesh without bone, which applies precisely to the female genitalia, showing the precise use of language.

4. Another statement from the narration that requires careful discussion and comprehension is when the Imam (7) says: “Wal-nutfatu wāḥidah; the sperm is one.”
This unity of the sperm is either because Satan has no sperm— in which case, there might be some hope— or because he does possess sperm, but his sperm merges with that of man’s, in which case one must seek refuge in God from the sperm of Satan and from the birth of the human offspring from him, and one must avoid it.

Women of Keen Desire

From Yahya ibn Abi al-‘Alā’ and al-Fadl ibn ‘Abd al-Malik, from Abu ‘Abdullah (7), who said: The Messenger of God (9) said: “The best of your women are those who are chaste and of keen desire.” [132]

The Holy Prophet (9) thus attributes two qualities to women: first, chastity, which is a distinguished and noble characteristic for a woman; and second, being “ghālimah,” meaning having keen sexual desire. Although this trait is generally rare among women, its presence is very important for a worthy woman. We briefly consider it as follows:

With respect to sexual desire and human sexual disposition, people differ in their intensity and nature: some are quick in desire, others slow; some have a little desire, some a short duration; some have warm temperaments, others cold. Although these traits are not a matter of choice, the factors that stimulate or enhance them are within the control of the individual.

Warmth and intensity are different: a woman may be warm-natured but not quick to orgasm; whereas a cold-natured woman is always slow; just as a quick-tempered woman is always warm. The Prophet says: “The best women are those who possess keen desire.” If a woman has keen desire, she is surely warm, and such women are very rare. These women achieve satisfaction sooner and also can satisfy their husbands well, whereas women with cold temperaments sometimes appear lifeless and even the longing for pleasurable satisfaction troubles them.

Warmth and heat bring love, affection, and vitality; coldness results in weakness and lack of love. A cold woman is merely a wife in name, not truly a woman for her husband; whereas a warm and keen woman is both a true wife and a partner. Hence, in the narrations, such women are called “the best of your women” and elsewhere praised for “good spousal conduct.”
Naturally, cold and warm dispositions are predominant, and everyone has their specific temperament. However, these conditions can be prevented and treated through awareness, treatment, exercise, diet, reading, and even use of certain tools, special clothing, or other methods. Although natural disposition remains, the state of lethargy, weakness, and coldness in women can often be altered.
It is important that the Prophet, with his exalted status, discusses such matters openly and without concealment, not shying away from the realities of sexuality. This not only demonstrates his purity and sincerity but also promotes the growth and awareness of individuals.
The Prophet (9), long before modern psychological discussions, expressed such matters with precision, subtlety, and brevity. Today, serious and comprehensive attention to these issues remains necessary. Unfortunately, these matters are less pursued among Muslims, especially in religious teachings, increasing the burden on society’s educators. They must strive to prevent outsiders and enemies of morality and chastity from imposing their corrupt ideas on the Muslim community under the guise of discussing these issues.

Intercourse and the Comprehensiveness of Religion

From Abu Hamzah: I asked Abu ‘Abdullah (7): “Is it permissible for a man to look at his wife’s private parts while having intercourse with her?” He replied: “There is no harm.” [133]

In this hadith, the Imam openly addresses a subject, highlighting several points:

The Imam (7) was very open-minded and gave others ample opportunity to ask even private questions without hesitation.

Today, religious communities often lack such openness, and educators rarely provide this level of awareness to people.

There are narrations that discourage looking at this area during intercourse because it may cause problems for the offspring, although such viewing is not forbidden. The different narrations can be reconciled to indicate its dislike rather than prohibition. The phrase “lā ba’s” (no harm) here expresses mere permissibility, not commendation.
The origin and implications of this discussion, supported by religious law, show the subtlety and comprehensiveness of religion; a religion that clearly states whether such acts are good or bad and how they affect satisfaction and the offspring. Although the current text does not delve into scientific details, such studies are essential. Every thoughtful person must recognize that a religion so concerned with revealing intimate matters cannot be indifferent to other aspects of individual and social life.

From ‘Alī ibn Ja‘far, who said: “I asked Abu al-Hasan (7) about a man kissing his wife’s private parts.” He said: “There is no harm.” [134]

The previous narration concerned looking, this one kissing. These are different acts; the eye perceives, while the kiss is an act with specific circumstances. The kiss, unlike mere viewing, plays a crucial role in sexual satisfaction as it opens the way to all other forms of pleasure. However, modern practices like biting or chewing, which are unhealthy and psychologically harmful, must be addressed and corrected.

The Nature and Characteristics of Intercourse

From Ishaq ibn ‘Ammar, from Abu ‘Abdullah (7) regarding a man looking at his naked wife: “There is no harm in that, and what is pleasure except that?” [135]

What has overwhelmed the world today and caused many problems—though believers seemingly avoid it—is the matter of the quality and manner of sexual enjoyment between spouses. Unfortunately, misplaced modesty in Islamic societies has caused difficulties in teaching and benefiting from these matters.

Religion provides clear and explicit guidance that differs from worldly perspectives; while worldly people seek animalistic traits, religion pursues spiritual perfection even in carnal desires. Therefore, modesty should not cause concealment or ignorance of these issues. Otherwise, Muslims either imitate worldly corruption or suffer from ignorance, leading to problems in satisfaction, healthy life, and mutual relations. Hence, the Infallibles (:) with their divine proximity have not neglected these carnal matters, although religious scholars have been slow to educate believers.

A brief summary of this narration’s points follows:

When asked about a man looking at his naked wife, the Imam (7) said it is permissible and added: “What is pleasure except that?” This underscores the importance of satisfaction and pleasure in the husband’s gaze towards his wife.
Sexual pleasure is not limited to intercourse; it includes looking and observing, which can be termed “marriage of the eye,” as opposed to “zina of the eye” (forbidden gazing). Every permissible act has its lawful form and potentially an unlawful counterpart.
The human soul has countless paths—eyes, ears, hands, feet—and the intelligent believer must close all these paths to Satan with awareness and vigilance, something impossible for the ignorant.
One must know good from evil well enough to avoid evil. This narration highlights one such path: a believer’s gaze upon lawful things is not only permissible but a source of pleasure. This pleasure differs from other pleasures and must be attained in its specific way.
The Imam discusses the matter candidly to educate and guide believers.
From a psychological standpoint, pleasure is concentrated in the act of seeing one’s naked wife. The phrase “description of life is half of life” is incomplete; description is itself life, or rather, beyond life because life ends but description remains. Vision is the eye’s description of life; the eye rules all senses and desires.

Thus, the Imam’s statement means that seeing is superior to the act itself and satisfies all faculties. When the eye is satisfied, the heart is satisfied, and when both are satisfied, all powers are content. Therefore, a man must fill his eyes and heart with lawful pleasures, leaving no room for unlawful ones. Hidden modesty issues among believers stem from the fact that when the soul is not fulfilled lawfully, it turns to the unlawful.

When a woman sees her husband’s dependence on her, she gains greater assurance and peace. Visual connection produces this result. When a man looks at his wife, she attentively watches him, so his eyes never leave her, strengthening her heart and confidence.

Response to the Fourth Passage: Women’s Adornment and Ornamentation

After affirming the sanctity of marriage and the explicit attention to sexual matters in Islamic law, we respond to the claim that Islamic society is dry and lifeless, and Muslims shun life’s pleasures, accusing them of worldliness, lust, and greed. We briefly discuss the adornment and ornamentation of women and men in Islam to show that Islam not only cares about marriage but also its preludes, and that the misconduct of some adherents should not be attributed to the religion itself.

The distinction between humans and animals lies in “choice” and “taste.” Humans, by their free will, engage in certain activities unavailable to animals, such as adornment, applying personal taste in cleanliness, hygiene, and aesthetics.

Adornment and grooming are voluntary and dependent on individual tastes and preferences, which differ among people and thus lead to diverse valuations.

Choice and taste distinguish humans from animals and also from each other, reflecting differences in individual value in personal, family, and social relations.

Women especially must consider their desirability and never neglect it. The Infallibles (:) provide comprehensive and beautiful teachings on this, as the following narrations indicate:

From Muhammad ibn Muslim, from Abu Ja‘far (7): “It is not permissible for a woman to apply perfume except in the presence of her husband only.” [136]

From Ahmad ibn Muhammad al-‘Amini, from Abu Ja‘far (7): “A woman’s perfume is not for anyone but her husband.” [137]

From Ahmad ibn Muhammad al-‘Amini, from Abu Ja‘far (7): “A woman’s adornment is permissible only for her husband.” [138]

These narrations show that Islam encourages women’s adornment and beautification, but limits their display and perfume use to their husbands alone. This prohibition protects women’s dignity and prevents misuse and corruption. These commands also affirm that Islam does not suppress natural inclinations, but guides them towards a respectful and modest expression.

From this narration, three points can be clearly derived:

The necessity of beauty and adornment for all: Beauty and adornment are not exclusive characteristics of worldly people. Religious families, scholars, and elders should not neglect self-grooming. As indicated in the narration, the daughters of the Imam wore colourful and floral garments, illustrating that beautification is compatible with religious life.
Reliability of the source: The individual who reported having seen the daughters of the Imam in such attire must have had close and intimate contact with the noble personage, thus it cannot be claimed that the daughters behaved in a frivolous or inappropriate manner.
Permissibility of adornment and vitality for young women: Given that the daughters of the Imam wore colourful and floral clothing, it follows that it is not necessary for young women to avoid all forms of adornment and cheerfulness. Such behaviours are natural and appropriate and should not be regarded as exclusive to married women only. These young women prepare the foundation for the success of society’s future and need to gain experience and awareness through natural enjoyment of legitimate pleasures, without vulgarity or ostentation.

It is important to note that excessive restrictions imposed on young women by families and society are a major cause of the disarray and disobedience observed in today’s youth towards their guardians. It is thus advisable to provide reasonable and appropriate freedoms to children to foster their well-being and happiness.

However, the claim that “such statements from this narration and others are patriarchal” arises from ignorance of love. The speaker is either of the class of courtiers or among the afflicted; otherwise, intimacy, the offering of the bed, privacy in affection, and amorousness are the blossom of all the joys of life, and in this sphere, there is no place for humiliation or servitude.

Friendship and Amorousness

By divine wisdom, the hearts of man and woman are so closely united that it is as if two souls dwell within one body, or one soul within two bodies, and all human attachments between men and women are bound solely by the heart.

The purification of society, meritocracy among men, nurturing of offspring by women, and the sweetness of life depend upon the health of the woman and her ability to express friendship and affection towards her husband. Therefore, the relationship between husband and wife and the exchange of love and passion between these two faces of human truth is not a mere duty or a command-obedience relation. Rather, it is the foundation of life and love, closeness and ecstasy, and divine union. This intimacy and privacy provide the necessary awareness for attaining truth and divine proximity.

Chapter Two: Islamic Teachings on Sexual Intercourse

Continuing the discussion to clarify the religion’s attention and care towards sexual teachings, we shall examine the explicit and unreserved instructions of the infallibles on this matter. To begin with, here is a brief selection of narrations in this field:

During intercourse, one should not face the Qibla nor have their back towards it; therefore, sexual relations are forbidden on ships, airplanes, or any moving vehicle.
Intercourse after nocturnal emission and before ritual purification may cause insanity in the offspring.
During the first week, the bride should not consume milk, vinegar, melon, or sour apple, as these may cause problems in the embryo, womb, or child.
Certain times are inappropriate for intercourse, such as the beginning, middle, and end of the month, nights of Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, afternoons, the middle of Sha‘bān, two days before the end of the month, and nights following travel. Offspring conceived at these times may suffer psychological issues and become morally corrupt.
Intercourse on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays is highly recommended, though not at the very start of the night. Speaking during intercourse increases the likelihood of stammering in the child. Looking at the woman’s genitalia during intercourse may cause visual problems for the child.
Intercourse while standing is fit only for animals, and offspring born from such unions may suffer from nocturnal enuresis. It is improper to eat, drink, sleep, or even recite the Qur’an in a state of ritual impurity due to seminal discharge, and purification (ghusl) should be performed as soon as possible. If a man thinks of another woman during intercourse, the child may develop neurological disorders.
Hygiene must be fully observed during intercourse, and the husband and wife must use separate cloths; otherwise, it causes resentment and ill-feeling between them.
Intercourse under a fruit tree may produce a child prone to murder and wickedness.
Sexual relations under direct sunlight cause poverty and are forbidden between the call to prayer (adhan) and the commencement of prayer (iqamah). Intercourse on rooftops or in public view is inappropriate. During pregnancy, intercourse without ablution (wudu) harms the child’s intellect and moral qualities.

This summary represents a selection of narrations; many other traditions and truths require their own proper discussion. Later sections will address some of the reasons and wisdoms underlying these religious rulings and recommendations.

Obedience or Reasoning?

Before discussing the legal criteria and the rationale of religious rulings, it is necessary to clarify the distinction between obedience (ta‘abbud) and reasoning (‘aql). The reasons or wisdoms behind divine laws must be explained. We must ask: What do obedience and reasoning mean? How do they differ? How far can a human delve into the causes and wisdoms of divine rulings? Is inquiry and investigation into religious laws prohibited? Generally, what are the causes and wisdoms of divine laws? Which ones are accessible to human reason?

Obedience is a submissive trait arising in the believer towards God and His commands, whereby all divine orders are accepted.

Reasoning is the intellectual exploration of unknown matters and unknown equations for the human mind. It differs from investigation (tafahhus), which is case-specific; reasoning operates more broadly.

Both are virtues necessary for the believer and complement one another. Obedience requires intellectual support; otherwise, it breeds ignorance. Reasoning strengthens obedience and fortifies the believer’s faith.

Obedience without intellectual backing is ignorance, prejudice, and rigidity; true reasoning is that which strengthens faith and aids in recognizing spiritual truths.

Obedience grounds belief in spiritual realities, while reasoning or investigation reinforces that belief. Therefore, obedience does not contradict reasoning, nor can one replace the other. Reasoning is the path toward increasing spiritual awareness.

Those who think obedience dispenses with reasoning are ignorant. Those who believe reasoning contradicts obedience are deprived of both and unaware of their true meanings. Obedience is a matter of the heart; reasoning is a mental act. Together, intellect and heart represent two intrinsic and active human faculties; just as the heart is the inner essence that illuminates the entire being, intellect pursues careful reflection and analysis of ordinary channels.

Moreover, if a believer discovers something new through investigation, it is a blessing. If no intellectual conclusion is reached, their obedience remains firmly intact.

Avicenna (Ibn Sina) and Obedience

For instance, the renowned scholar Avicenna (Ibn Sina) endeavored tirelessly to uncover spiritual truths and to unveil them as far as possible. However, when faced with the concept of bodily resurrection, he found difficulty in reconciling it with the corruptibility of matter, as matter changes and decays, making eternal bodily existence seem impossible.

At this point, a sincere and learned believer may falter, but here the trait of obedience reveals its efficacy. As Avicenna states in his Shifa (The Cure): “Although my intellect fails to resolve this problem, since the truthful Prophet of Islam has asserted bodily resurrection, then bodily resurrection must be accepted.”

Ibn Sina attributed this difficulty to the limitations of his own reasoning, not to deficiencies in divine law or truths. This is a prominent example of the unity of obedience and reasoning in a learned believer. Ibn Sina harmonised these two qualities without allowing intellectual investigation to weaken his faith.

Unreflective obedience or reasoning without faith leads to extremism, deviation, and ignorance. This principle must be studied further.

The Cause of a Legal Ruling

Now, it is appropriate to outline the nature of the causes behind legal rulings.

The cause of a legal ruling is the underlying reality enabling its implementation, known only to God and the infallible saints. Thus, God and the infallibles may explain the cause of a ruling; for example, the infallible said regarding wine: “The cause of its prohibition is its intoxicating effect.” Without such guidance, we could not definitively explain the general reason, as this requires complete knowledge of all realities, unavailable to ordinary humans, even learned believers.

The Wisdom of a Legal Ruling

Another matter concerns the wisdom behind legal rulings.

The wisdom of a ruling is a rational deduction by human intellect, based on sound logic. For example, when asked why ritual purification (ghusl) is required after seminal discharge (janābah) when ordinary cleanliness seems sufficient, the reply may be: The nerves and psyche become locked after discharge, and spiritual vitality is lost. In this state, ritual purification, done with the intention of drawing near to God, is the key to restoring this state.

This is one possible wisdom for ghusl, but it may not be exclusive; other causes may exist beyond human comprehension, which future generations may discover.

Hence, the “cause of the ruling” is a definitive underlying factor accessible only to God and the infallibles, while the “wisdom of the ruling” is a rational explanation subject to expansion.

The Progression of Human Thought

Humans may naturally reflect on the philosophy of rulings and pursue this enquiry rigorously. This is a merit and strengthens the faith of thoughtful believers. Nonetheless, humans should not claim definitive knowledge of the causes of rulings. The cause is beyond human reach, even for scholars and investigators, as only the infallibles have complete knowledge of reality, and the cause of the ruling is among these realities.

Thus, ordinary humans—even learned believers—may employ all their faculties to comprehend and investigate rulings without prohibition, but they cannot confidently state the ultimate cause of a ruling, only their own findings as potential wisdoms.

Method of This Book

Having outlined this, the discussion in this book on some rulings and their causes and wisdoms falls into two categories:

Presenting causes where explicit religious texts clearly exist.
Presenting some wisdoms derived from our or others’ findings.

It is necessary to note that we do not intend to present all known wisdoms, as this requires extensive treatment reserved for future volumes, where we will examine the causes and wisdoms of divine rulings on women’s issues in detail.

Now, a few remarks on narrations concerning sexual intercourse:

Religion is not indifferent to any human matters—whether spiritual or material, psychological, or hidden desires.
Religious leaders such as the infallibles must, when necessary and to the required extent, disclose divine truths openly without concealment, including matters of the unseen and those relating to psychology and sexual relations. Concealment leads to forgetfulness of truth and confusion among people.
Today’s modern societies also investigate these topics with open minds, making the expression of scientific, psychological, and medical facts important for advancing human understanding.

Abu Basir narrates: Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) asked me: “O Abu Muhammad! When the wife of one of you comes to you on the wedding night, what do you say?”

I replied, “My soul is sacrificed for you! Is it permissible to say anything at that time?”

The Imam said, “Shall I teach you what to say?”

I answered, “Yes.”

He then instructed: “Say: ‘By the words of God, I make intercourse with her lawful for myself, and I take her as a divine trust in my embrace. O God! If You have decreed a child for me in her womb, make him righteous and pious, a Muslim and healthy, and do not allot any share to Satan in him.’”

He then recited the verse:
“And you [O Satan!] share with men in their wealth and children.” [Quran 4:120]

The Imam added: “Undoubtedly, Satan approaches during intercourse, sitting before the woman as a man, speaking to her and engaging in intercourse as a man does.”

I asked: “By what sign is Satan’s participation in the child known?”

He replied: “By love and enmity towards us; whoever loves us is from his father’s seed, and whoever is hostile to us is from Satan’s seed.”

Analysis of the Hadith:

The Imam initiates by asking what the man should say during intercourse, challenging the notion that silence is appropriate, since silence at such a moment is animalistic and humans are always articulate. He then offers a prayer to prevent Satan’s interference.
The narrator is surprised by the idea of Satan’s involvement in such intimate matters, to which the Imam replies that God has permitted Satan’s interference, citing the Quranic verse about Satan’s share in wealth and offspring.
Devotees and lovers of the Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them) are protected from Satan’s influence, while their enemies suffer such afflictions, which highlights the significance of spiritual affiliation.

On Silence During Intercourse:

Abdullah ibn Sinan reports that Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Beware of speaking at the meeting of the two circumcised parts (intercourse), for it causes muteness.”

This hadith advises refraining from speech at the moment of penetration due to the potential harm it causes to the child’s speech faculties. The underlying psychological and physiological reasons are complex and merit scientific inquiry, though that is beyond this brief discussion.

Reconciling the Two Narrations on Speaking:

The first narration encourages reciting sacred words and prayers during intercourse, especially at the beginning and during foreplay, as a form of spiritual invocation and gratitude.
The second narration warns against speech during the act itself to avoid distraction and weakness, which may harm the conception process.

Hence, speaking is recommended if it consists of meaningful, divine invocations and loving expressions between spouses, while frivolous or distracting speech—especially about unrelated matters or involving third parties—is discouraged.

Prohibited Intercourse Positions:

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Do not engage in intercourse on a ship, nor facing the Qibla (direction of prayer), nor with your back to it.”

The “ship” here refers to unstable places that may cause discomfort or risk. Modern ships without such instability are exempt. Facing or turning one’s back to the Qibla during intercourse is forbidden for spiritual and psychological reasons.

Ali ibn Abi Talib (peace be upon him) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade intercourse facing the Qibla or on a busy public road, warning of divine and communal curse upon violators.

Intercourse After Nocturnal Emission Without Ablution:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It is disliked for a man who has had a nocturnal emission to engage in intercourse with his wife before performing the ritual ablution (ghusl). If he does so and the child is born mentally disturbed, he should blame no one but himself.”

This underlines the importance of ritual purity for physical and spiritual health.

Sexual Relations During Menstruation:

Abdullah ibn Amr asked Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him): “What sexual benefits does a husband have with a menstruating wife?” The Imam replied: “Everything except vaginal penetration.”
The Imam further explained: “A woman is a man’s plaything (i.e., a source of pleasure and diversion),” emphasising the vitality of the conjugal relationship for the husband’s relaxation and happiness.

The term “plaything” should not be understood as degrading but rather highlighting the woman’s unique role in enlivening and engaging her husband emotionally and physically.

Intercourse During Menstruation:

Intercourse is prohibited during menstruation but other forms of sexual enjoyment are permitted.
Upon cessation of menstruation but before performing the ritual bath (ghusl), intercourse is permissible though it is preferable to delay it until after ghusl.
There are narrations linking physical or mental abnormalities in offspring to conception during menstruation, though this requires scientific validation.

Intercourse from Behind (Anal Intercourse):

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) discouraged intercourse from behind, particularly during menstruation, due to increased harm to the woman.

This summary and translation present the spiritual, ethical, and hygienic guidelines discussed by Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) regarding sexual relations, emphasising a holistic approach combining physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to Imam Ali (peace be upon him):
“O Ali! Do not engage in intercourse with your wife on the first, middle, and last nights of the month, for a child conceived on these nights is at risk of madness.”

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) inquired:
“O Messenger of God! Why does such fear and danger exist for the child?”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied:
“Because the jinns most frequently engage in intercourse with their spouses on these nights. Have you not observed that the insane suffer from epilepsy (loss of consciousness and possession) at the beginning, middle, and end of the month?”

He said:
“O Ali! Do not consummate marriage with your wife in the first hour of the night; for if a child is born from that union, he will not be safe from becoming a sorcerer who prefers this world over the Hereafter. O Ali! Preserve this advice as I have preserved it from my brother Gabriel.”

What emerges from this sacred narration — wherein the Prophet claims he received it from Gabriel — beyond acknowledging the origins of creation, angels, and infallible beings’ concerns regarding intercourse and fulfilment, is an understanding of the numerous conditions, barriers, and specific characteristics related to marital relations. This reflects the importance, precision, and valuation accorded by the Sharia and its guardians to sexual fulfilment and intercourse, taught without concealment. Such matters require rigorous scientific and investigative scrutiny to ensure that their benefits and blessings might more fully accrue to human society.

Location of Intercourse

From Imam Ali (peace be upon him):
“The Messenger of God forbade a man from having intercourse with his wife while a child is watching them in the cradle.”

This prohibition implies dislike, and the phrase “no harm” in subsequent narrations also carries this meaning.

Ali ibn Yaqtin said:
“I asked Abu al-Hasan (peace be upon him): ‘Is it permissible to recite the Qur’an or engage in intercourse in the bath?’ He replied: ‘No harm.'”

From Ibn Rashid, quoting his father, Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said:
“A man should not have intercourse with his wife or concubine in the room where a child is present, for this leads to the child becoming involved in fornication later in life.”

Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) also narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“By Him in Whose hand is my soul, if a man has intercourse with his wife while a child is awake, watching and hearing them, that child will never be successful; if a boy, he will become a fornicator, and if a girl, she will become promiscuous. Imam al-Husayn (peace be upon him) used to close the door, draw the curtains, and send servants out before approaching his family.”

The Devil’s Dance

Abdulrahman ibn Kathir said:
“I was sitting with Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him) when he spoke of the devil’s role in conception, and he magnified it so much that I became alarmed. I said, ‘May I be sacrificed for you! What is the remedy for this?’ He said: ‘When you intend to have intercourse, say: In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate, who has no partner, Creator of the heavens and the earth. O God! If You decree a child from me this night, do not grant the devil any share, participation, or portion in him; make him faithful, sincere, and purified from Satan and his filth. Surely Your blessings are exalted.'”

From this narration, several points are clear:

The devil’s participation in human conception is extremely dangerous.
The distinctive feature of intercourse for the believer is to maintain spiritual motivation and purpose; preserving inner purity during this moment is crucial, as Satan’s power is strongest here.
Today, instead of aspiring towards spiritual elevation and purity at such times, people are trapped in neglect, sin, and rebellion, and the modern world’s corrupt imagery has devastated spirituality and peace.
The narrative exemplifies the eloquence of the infallible’s words, clearly identifying this moment’s peril as spiritual polytheism and the devil’s influence.
Believers must avoid worldly corruptions and strive for spiritual love and purity, as the believer’s world is inseparable from the Hereafter.

Requesting the Ability for Intercourse from God

From Abu Basir, who said:
“I heard a man say to Abu Ja’far (peace be upon him): ‘May I be sacrificed for you! I am an old man married to a young virgin, and I fear that when she sees me, she will dislike me due to my age and hennaed hair.'”

Imam (peace be upon him) replied:
“When she comes to you, instruct her to perform ablution before approaching you. Do not approach her until you also perform ablution and pray two units of prayer, praise God, and send blessings upon Muhammad and his family. Then pray, and ask those with her to say ‘Ameen’ to your prayer. Say: ‘O God, grant me her affection, love, and satisfaction; satisfy me with her, and unite us in the best of unions and greatest intimacy, for You love what is lawful and dislike what is forbidden.'”

He added:
“Know that affection and intimacy are from God, and enmity and hatred come from Satan, who hates what God has made lawful.”

This narration highlights:

The issue of large age differences in marriage and the man’s anxiety over his wife’s acceptance.
Satisfaction alone is insufficient; capability and preparation are essential.
The nature of prayer and request reflects divine attention to lawful acts and the enmity of Satan toward them.
When sexual relations are accompanied by ablution, prayer, and invocation, the worldly and spiritual benefits are multiplied.

The Origin of Love and Aversion in Marriage

Regrettably, nowadays, due to excesses, neglect, or ignorance, prayer and spirituality have vanished from marriage and conjugal relations. For some, the wedding night becomes one of sin, heedlessness, and lust, which adversely affects the marriage, family life, and future of both spouses. At minimum, it weakens love, affection, and sexual satisfaction. The Qur’an states that love and affection between spouses is a divine matter, easily affected by reward and sin, incompatible with heedlessness and sinfulness.

Do you not observe true believers—those who truly possess faith—who enjoy love, affection, and high levels of fulfilment in marriage? Often, such couples even pass away close together in time, influenced by each other’s bond.

How can a couple develop such profound love and attachment, surpassing even parental affection, through mere utterance of marriage vows or by divine grace and intention? Is this not a sign of God’s creative love? Do not their hearts incline toward each other by divine will?

Conversely, how do some couples’ affections wane over time, even turning into conflict, aversion, or divorce?

Can those who avoid the remembrance of God possess hearts full of genuine love? Or are they merely outwardly content and deceptive, their true inner lives hidden? Indeed, many worldly people proclaim empty lustful triumphs, unaware of the believers’ love and joy.

Love and Aversion in Divine Verses

To clarify these vital matters underlying pleasure and fulfilment, consider the following Qur’anic verses comparing faith, assurance, and divine grace with deprivation and failure in the non-believers. The verses first speak of love and affection, then deprivation and punishment:

“God has united your hearts; had you spent all that is on earth, you could not have united their hearts, but God united them.”

Here, divine love and unity among the faithful is a miracle of God’s grace, unattainable by worldly means. Such unity only exists within faith, not disbelief or polytheism.

“God was pleased with the believers when they pledged allegiance to you under the tree; He knew what was in their hearts and sent down tranquility upon them and rewarded them with a near victory.”

Tranquillity is the heart’s peace and assurance unique to believers, who do not harbour fear from falsehood.

“Those who believe, and whose hearts are assured by the Spirit from God.”

Faith is inscribed in the heart, a permanent state, confirmed by God’s spirit. Such hearts possess divine love and enmity for God’s foes.

“And He sends down water from the sky to purify you and remove from you the filth of Satan, and to strengthen your hearts and establish your feet firmly.”

The descent of mercy purifies the believer, removes satanic filth, links hearts through faith, and grants steadfastness.

heart burdened with such afflictions cannot experience true love, pleasure, or success.

17- “Satan only wants to cause between you animosity and hatred through intoxicants and gambling and to avert you from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer.” [237]

Indeed, Satan intends to sow discord and enmity among you through wine and gambling, thereby preventing you from the remembrance of God and prayer.

18- “Then Satan whispered to him, saying, ‘O Adam, shall I show you the Tree of Eternity and a kingdom that does not decay?’” [238]

Through his whispers, Satan not only caused the expulsion of the Prophet Adam (peace be upon him) and his wife Eve (peace be upon her) from Paradise to the earthly realm but continues to this day to lead people astray. He embellishes sins and justifies sinful means and paves the way for various transgressions such as sexual immorality — whether physical or visual — frivolous singing, indecent dancing, gambling, drunkenness, narcotics, and so forth. Satan aims to transform the paradise of family life and affectionate marital bonds into a hell of discord, conflict, hatred, suspicion, and ultimately into the fire of divorce and separation.

19- “Whoever follows the footsteps of Satan, indeed Satan commands immorality and wrongdoing.” [239]

Whoever pursues Satan’s path will find themselves urged to commit shameful and reprehensible acts.

20- “Indeed, the devils inspire their allies to dispute with you.” [240]

Satan and his demons whisper to their followers, inciting them to engage in argumentation and strife against you.

Love, affection, and purity dwell in the hearts of sincere believers, whereas enmity, hostility, and corruption persist within the hearts of the depraved. These two opposing forces have always stood against each other, each with distinct adherents and characteristics. Although the apparent victories and defeats of these groups fluctuate, the certainty of the people of truth and the deprivation and anxiety of the people of falsehood remain unaltered. The people of falsehood never find satisfaction in what they cling to, whereas the people of truth are ever successful at the banquet of divine manifestation.

References

The Noble Qur’an
Al-Burujardi, Husayn, Jami‘ al-Ahadith al-Shi‘ah, Qom, 1359 AH
Al-Hurr Al-‘Amili, Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, Tafsil Wasail al-Shi‘ah, 4th edition, Beirut, Dar Ihya’ al-Turath al-‘Arabi, 1391 AH
Al-Huwayzi, ‘Ali ibn Abd Jum‘ah al-‘Urusī, Tafsir Nur al-Thaqalayn, 2nd edition, Qom, Ismailiyan Institute, 1383 AH
Al-Suyuti, Jalal al-Din, Dur al-Manthur, Qom, Ayatollah Mar’ashi Najafi Library
Al-Saduq, Muhammad ibn ‘Ali, Man La Yahduruhu al-Faqih, Tehran, Saduq Library, 1392 AH
Al-Tabarsi, Hasan ibn Fazl, Makarem al-Akhlaq, Najaf Ashraf, Haideriya Press, 1391 AH
Al-Tusi, Hasan ibn Ali, Tahdhib al-Ahkam, 1st edition, Tehran, Saduq Library, 1376 SH
Al-‘Amili, Muhammad ibn Makki, Al-Rawda al-Bahiyya fi Sharh al-Lum‘a al-Dimashqiyya, Tehran, ‘Ilmiya Islami Bookshop, 1309 AH
Al-Kulayni, Muhammad ibn Ya‘qub, Furu‘ al-Kafi, Tehran, Islamic Books House, 1350 SH
Al-Majlisi, Muhammad Baqir, Bihar al-Anwar, Tehran, Islamic Books House
Al-Najafi, Muhammad Hasan, Jawahir al-Kalam, Tehran, Islamic Books House, 1392 AH
Al-Nuri al-Tabarsi, Mirza Husayn, Mustadrak al-Wasa’il wa Mustanbat al-Masa’il, Tehran, Islamic Press, 1382 AH

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Significant Sciences and Perspectives (Volume One)

The Scroll of Love

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